Blog Posts - Parent and Child Psychological Services of Sarasota

Should I Have My Child “Retested” for the Gifted Program? BY TARA MOTZENBECKER, MS, NCSP

9/28/2018

Many parents wonder about having their child retested after the initial screening or testing at school. This will be a case-by-case decision, but there are certainly some main points to consider. First, if the child was given only the screening and did not qualify for further testing, ask yourself if the child is exhibiting a need for differentiated and more challenging instruction. If you and/or the teacher are saying yes, then it is very possible that the screening is not reflective of the child’s true potential. Also, often, the screening does not correlate well with the psychological testing so results can be vastly different.

Second, if your child moved past the screening and did complete an IQ test with a psychologist but did not qualify for advanced programs, there are multiple things to consider. Eligibility criteria changes over time and the school system will generally accept testing for three years. Take a look at the current eligibility criteria and determine if your child’s performance meets any of the newer criteria. Next, were the testing conditions ideal when your child was tested? An IQ test is measuring a child’s intellectual potential, so conditions must be optimal in order to truly get at that potential. Often when testing is done at school, the parents are unaware of the testing date. Many children are scared or fear something bad happened when they are called down to the office. Once they realize why they were actually called down, it can take a significant amount of time for their nervous system to stabilize. The evaluation could be halfway done before the child’s inner system has calmed down. This compromises the results without much outward appearance that the psychologist can recognize and account for. Other times, a child may be pulled out of PE and be very upset by this. That child may rush through answers in the hopes that they can get back to PE before it ends. Or it can be that the child has just returned from a vacation or an illness and are not at their best, but since this is unknown, they are tested anyway. For these and a multitude of other reasons, evaluations may not have actually captured the child’s true potential. As a parent, if your gut instinct tells you that something interfered with your child’s performance on the day of the testing AND your child is exhibiting signs of giftedness, then it is very likely that retesting could be a beneficial route to take.

Discussing your individual concerns and questions with a psychologist is always recommended. Feel free to contact our office for additional information and to talk through all of your questions &/or concerns.

"I am told my child needs a psychological evaluation what is it, and what does it do?” By Amanda Hanson, Psy.D.

9/21/2018

Now that school is back in session and children are beginning to acclimate to the structure of the academic environment, school age children may begin to display behavioral issues in school. The behaviors are often reported to parents as their child is being off-task, not listening, not on academic level, or disrupting the classroom. As a result, many parents are being told that their child would benefit from a psychological evaluation. Parents may be confused and unsure as to what that means, what that entails, and where to even look to start that process.

What is a psychological evaluation?

A psychological evaluation is typically requested to better understand a presenting issue, answer questions related to the issue, and to provide potential recommendations to address the problem. Many common questions that are asked regarding school age children are, “Does my child have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)?” or “Is there a learning disorder?” Once a specific question has been identified, it will help guide direction for appropriate services.

Where to look?

Parents are often unsure as to where to find a qualified professional to conduct an evaluation and may seek advice or a referral from their local pediatrician. The pediatrician may have appropriate referral sources in the community, or the parent can search online for a local psychologist.

If you are looking to utilize insurance, you can contact your insurance provider and ask for a list of approved providers in your area. However, it is important to understand that some types of testing may not be covered by insurance, and it can be an out-of-pocket cost. While parents want to obtain a good deal, do not trade price for quality.

Psychological evaluations are most often conducted by a Clinical Psychologist, as a psychologist has extensive training in the administration and interpretation of standardized testing.

Once you have identified professionals to contact, feel free to shop around. Ask about the clinician’s experience, qualifications, and ability to adequately perform testing. If you are going to invest in this process, as a parent, you want to make sure you are getting a quality product.

What to expect

It is common for parents or the caregivers to meet with the psychologist first, independently of the child, to discuss background information and the presenting concerns. The psychologist will often ask questions that assist in better understanding your child. At that time, the determination of which testing will be conducted is decided, and what additional information may be needed. Since the issues being explored involve the school, parents should expect the clinician to seek collateral information from teachers as well.

What should I tell my child about testing?

Many parents are unsure as to what their child may experience with psychological testing, and do not know what to say. Telling your child that they will be meeting with a professional to discuss their personal strengths and areas for improvement is appropriate. Letting the child know that they will be engaging in talk and tasks that help the clinician get to know them will also put the child at ease. Once the psychologist meets with the child, they will explain the purpose as well to ease any anticipatory anxiety.

Depending on the type of assessment being requested, your child may be engaged with the clinician for several hours. It can be helpful to bring a drink &/or snack in the event the evaluation is lengthy.

My child is done testing, what happens next and what do I do with it?

Once testing is completed, the clinician will write a thorough report explaining the results of the assessment. Some clinicians will meet with the parents or caregivers to review the results and offer the them the opportunity to ask questions. Based upon the findings, the clinician will offer recommendations that will be beneficial to addressing any concerns and provide appropriate referrals that may be necessary. Depending on the type of assessment, the parents may wish to share the results with other parties, such as the school, caregivers, and pediatrician, etc..

If you are asked to seek out a psychological evaluation for your child, don’t hesitate to ask questions and become informed. The more you know the more you can assist your child moving forward.

How an Educational Advocate Serves as “Interpreter” by Tara Motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

9/14/2018

Have you ever been called into a meeting at your child’s school to discuss academic and/or behavioral concerns? If so, you likely walked into a room full of school personnel who only had thirty minutes to discuss a plan of action before members of the staff had to return to their duties. With their limited time, they may have had their own set agenda while time to discuss the deeper aspects of your child is a luxury that occurs rarely. Thirty minutes of technical jargon and lots of paperwork later, you walk out with your head spinning wondering what it all means and, will any of it really help your child.

This is a reality for too many families. It leads to parents worrying that their child’s needs are not being met. In many cases, the school is doing everything it can to address those needs, but time is constrained. It can be difficult to adequately discuss what is in the best interest of the child’s mental health when the school’s mandates are developing skills in reading and writing, and teachers have to dedicate large amounts of time toward documenting progress. And, unfortunately in some cases, the real issues and solutions do go unaddressed.
Let’s talk about children dealing with trauma as an example. Often, school staff will look at a child’s behavior and think, “what is wrong with this child?” versus “what happened to this child?” It is not ill-intentioned on the part of the school staff. They simply may not have the time, training or resources to delve deeper. So let’s think about a child with no trauma history. He is walking down the halls and someone bumps into him. He may say “Oh I’m sorry” or “Excuse me” and then continue on into class and start his reading. Whereas a child with a trauma history gets bumped and they may perceive the bumper as a threat and automatically go into fight or flight mode. This may result in aggression or it may result in the child shutting down. This child may now enter the classroom and stare blankly at the walls and appear to ignore the teacher’s requests to get the reading book out and start an assignment. The school may interpret this behavior one way (e.g. attention issues), call the parents in for a meeting, proceed so quickly with their agenda and their unintentionally intimidating process/language, that the real issue goes completely unaddressed. However, if the parent has an advocate by their side that understands mental health AND the schools, the barriers can be broken and all can work together to truly get at the root of the problems and help the child. The advocate becomes the interpreter not only of the “school lingo” but of the child’s behavior and mental health.

Now none of this is to say that the school personnel do not have the child’s best interest at heart. I think it is fair to say that no one enters a public education career for the money or prestige. They enter the field because they want to care for and guide children towards a brighter future. When teachers are assigned 25-30 kids with diverse needs, to whom standardized testing requirements are applied, and they are tasked with making “adequate yearly progress” these well-intentioned teachers suddenly have a time issue. They simply cannot do it all and do it all as well as they’d like with the limited time and resources provided to them, even when they all work well beyond their allotted hours. Therefore, they generally welcome an “interpreter” helping them to understand the child’s behaviors and needs.

Where does this leave families who walk out of the school meetings bewildered and worried? Several years ago, a wise man told me that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” In order to get what you want, you have to ask for it. You have to advocate for it. But how can you do this in a way that won’t alienate the school team members? How can you be the “squeaky wheel” that makes the school team genuinely consider your child’s needs because they understand it is the best thing to do, rather than to make you go away?

This is where some homework needs to be done. The school has certain requirements and restrictions they have to follow. They also have their own foreign language to describe and work through their processes. What does someone do when they need to understand a foreign language? They bring an interpreter. Having this interpreter/advocate by your side to clarify and expand is crucial to understanding what is happening. An educational advocate can speak both languages (of the school and of the family) and serve as an interpreter, mediator, and guide.

If you are finding yourself in need of an “interpreter” to work with you and your child’s school, please contact our office as it will be our pleasure to consult with you and determine if our services could help you and your child achieve greater success.

How Being Organized Can Reduce Stress by Rachel funnell, lmft

9/6/2018

Everyone gets stressed out at one point or another throughout the week. At times, you can’t prevent it. However, there are a few organizational tips that you can begin to implement that could help you reduce some of the unnecessary stress that occurs. Below are just a few ways in which a little organization could go a long way.

Prepare as much as you can the night before. The morning can be busy, and time is of the essence due to needing to get to work or get the kids off to school. Therefore, rather than waiting until the morning to prepare certain items, do them the night before. Some items that can be prepared ahead of time include lunches, outfits, your kid’s backpacks, your work bag and putting your keys by the door.
Put reminders/alarms on your phone. If you have a habit of forgetting to call someone or do something then put a reminder on your phone. This will alert you to complete the task in a timely manner.
Put appointments on a calendar with an alert. Sometimes doctor’s appointments are several months apart and it can be hard to remember everyone’s appointment. Therefore, by putting them on a calendar and setting reminder alerts, you won’t forget.
Make lists and do the easy tasks first. Making lists can help reduce stress because it allows you to remember everything that you need to accomplish. By doing the easy items first, you are not only crossing items off your list but you are accomplishing them sooner than if you worked on the harder items first. This will also give you a sense of success.
Fill your car gas before it reaches empty. Again, the key is to decrease preventable stress. By filling up your gas tank sooner, you are preventing extra stress of needing to fill it up when your time is limited.

Summer break is really over? by Amanda hanson, psy.D.

8/31/2018

Guidelines to help navigate through schedule changes

Transitioning from summer break to a school schedule can be challenging for both parents and children. Mixed emotions related to excitement, nervousness, and adjustment can impact families in multiple ways. Managing this change can be stressful for some families and working towards making the shift takes work. However, being proactive can help mitigate these potential stressors by identifying sources of stress and actively problem-solving in advance. There are several ways parents and children can begin to prepare for the new school year and handle back to school season smoothly.

1) Begin by talking with your child about any anxiety related to beginning school and allow them to share their feelings in an open and safe way. Sometimes parents believe that just because the child doesn’t bring it up or mention it, it must not bother them, but this is on the contrary. Beginning the conversation with your child and opening the door to have this discussion allows children to feel that it is okay to share. So, go ahead parents, ask and inquire.
2) Now if you are going to talk to your children about their stress or anxiety, it is also important to address your own personal feelings. If you feel anxious for your child, they are likely to feel anxious too. Identify what feelings you may have, and what feelings and experienced in previous school year transitions. Anticipate, prepare, and proactively manage your own feelings in a healthy and adaptive way.
3) Establish a routine and structure before school starts, as the first day of school is probably not the best time to make changes to morning and bedtime routines. Start working on the routine that you are anticipating in advance. This allows the child to adjust and for you to tweak any areas that may need to be addressed, such as time management.
4) Adjusting to a new routine and structure can be hard for some. A new school year typically means a different family schedule, as there is limited free time and more responsibility with homework. Begin to talk with your children about how some of the rules regarding privileges (i.e. electronics) may need to change due to school needs. Discussing these rule changes in advance allows children to handle the change and be prepared when it does happen.
5) Focus on how you want to structure homework time if needed. Anticipating and identify the needs of your child after a long day of school, this can be important step in gaining compliance and cooperation. Learn and know your child. Understand if they need a snack, physical activity, or less stimulation to function at their best. Remember, coming home from an extended day at school is like returning home from a long day of work for you. Help your children identify what they need to perform at their best.

Now if all these suggestions seem overwhelming, there is an important point to remember. Attending school doesn’t have to always be stressful, it can be FUN. Children interact, develop social skills, and build friendships. These can be enjoyable. Spend time with your children each day, ask and learn about their school experiences, while also focusing on the positive aspects. Enjoying individual time with your children is so important, even if it is only 15 minutes a day. So, don’t let the new school year get you down, be proactive and make the transition a positive one!

How do I talk with my child about THIS? by Dr. Kirsten M. Ellingsen, Ph.D.

8/21/2018

General Recommendations and guidelines to help parents talk with their children about distressing events.

Turn on the news and you can find alarming stories at all hours of the day and night. The continual and often graphic coverage of violence, devastation from natural disasters or war, children separated from families, and even the recall of popular contaminated food can be very upsetting. As parents, managing our own reactions and emotions to these events can be quite challenging, particularly when events include children who are hurt or hurting. When our children are watching us (which is just about always) how we handle this information can affect how they feel and how they are able to handle what they see or hear.

Children and adolescents may also be watching these events on the news separately or have exposure to news when it is on “in the background” at home. Parents might not even know that their children are aware of some of these events. Last spring I had a young child spontaneously mention a school shooting in front of her mother in the clinic waiting room. Her mother was surprised that she even knew about it, but with this realization her child was able to talk about her feelings and gain support and reassurance of her safety.

Considering how upsetting these events can be for adults, learning about these situations can be even more confusing and distressing for children who do not have the life experience, coping skills, or ability to understand what is happening and what it means for them. Below are general guidelines and recommendations for how to talk with children and adolescents about these events. Ideally, have these conversations when you can give your full attention and when you are calm. References and additional resources are available at the end of the post.

Honest and Age Appropriate

Be honest, but keep your language and content age and developmentally appropriate.
Be prepared and know generally what you want to say but, follow your child’s lead for how much information to share and ask what they know first to address misinformation or conclusions.

Consider what is helpful for a child to hear. Keep it simple and straightforward. Be careful to discuss in a calm and rational way.
Be aware of your tone, particularly when a topic is highly emotionally charged or a personal trigger for you.
Allow children to express their feelings. Validate feelings and normalize emotions: Try not to dismiss or minimize concerns or the feelings expressed (e.g., ‘its OK to feel scared, mad or sad’).
While being careful not to minimize or dismiss feelings, it is also important to reassure your children that they are safe.
Consider your child’s temperament, limit repeated exposure to images or news coverage for anxious or sensitive children.

Awareness and Self-care

Pay attention to your reactions and any behavior changes for your child. While children may not understand abstract concepts, they will pick up on the emotional response of parents. It is important to be aware of how this situation is affecting you and get any support you need.
Watch children for signs of fear, anxiety, or confusion. Observe changes in sleep, eating, play, behavior.

Children will watch you— model calm and rational responses. Try to model healthy coping methods.

Talk about how you are managing your feelings; this also reinforces building positive coping strategies (e.g., ‘I am sad about what is happening. When I feel this way I like to take a nice walk, to snuggle you, to listen to music’.)
Take care of yourself and try to get good sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, and participate in fun, relaxing, and enjoyable activities alone, as well as with your children.

Help Children Feel Safe and Secure

Keep a “big picture” perspective. The goal is to leave your child feeling safe and secure (not overwhelmed and helpless). Children need to feel safe and secure in order to be healthy and function well.

Limit access to news and coverage.

Reassure your child that you will do all you can to keep them safe. Remind them how they are loved. Model caring and compassionate responses.

Point out and talk about the people who are doing good and trying to help.

Let your child know you can talk about the topic again any time they want.
Depending on the age and interest of the child, help him or her get involved in positive activities to address the issue and feel part of change.

Age Based Considerations:
Infancy and Early childhood: Young children need to be protected from distressing news coverage. Limit television watching and emotional discussions when children are present. If a child has seen images or coverage and is concerned, provide a very simple statement with an emphasis on how they are safe and will be protected by their caregivers
Young children (ages 3-6): Again, limit exposure to news, especially pictures. Even if you think that a child is not paying attention, if they can see or hear you, they likely are. if you are upset and have a strong reaction to news (which is normal and understandable) this could be upsetting and confusing.
Middle Childhood (6-12): Provide simple information, and assure safety. Limit details so as not to overwhelm. Let children ask questions and lead conversation. You can start a discussion asking what he or she knows and feels. This also allows you to clarify any inaccurate information. Help the child put events into perspective.
Adolescents: Provide opportunities to talk, listen, help address misinformation, and support. Introduce opportunities to talk.

If your child or teen is experiencing anxiety or distress that is negatively affecting daily life or functioning and you want to obtain additional support please call our office to schedule a consultation or session with one of our therapists.

References and Resources

Tips for talking with and helping children and youth cope after a disaster or traumatic event.: A guide for parents, caregivers, and teachers (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content/SMA12-4732/SMA12-4732.pdf

How to talk to children about difficult news (American Psychological Association)
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/talking-to-children.aspx

Supporting Vulnerable Students in Stressful Times: Tips for Parents (National Association of School Psychologists) https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources/diversity/social-justice/supporting-vulnerable-students-in-stressful-times-tips-for-parents

Explaining the News to Our Kids (Common Sense Media) https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/explaining-the-news-to-our-kids

How much news coverage is OK for children? (American Psychological Association)
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/news-coverage.aspx

Disrupting young lives: How detention and deportation affect US–born children of immigrants (American Psychological Association) http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2016/11/detention-deportation.aspx

Communication Tips for Parents in talking with children (General) http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx

Help Kids Cope (a smartphone app to help parents talk about disasters) https://www.nctsn.org/resources/help-kids-cope

The Benefits of Breastfeeding by rachel funnell, ma, lmft

8/9/2018

When you are expecting a new baby into your life, you begin to think about what kind of parent you’ll be and ask yourself several questions: Do I want to co-sleep with my child or have them be in their own crib? Do I want to stay at home and take care of my child or will they be going to daycare or someone’s house while I work? Eventually you will ask yourself “do I want to breastfeed or not?" In the state of Florida, between 60-70% of women breastfeed their child.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months and then continued breastfeeding along with appropriate foods for the first year. A lot of mothers have the intention to breastfeed their child. However, breastfeeding is initially not easy and a lot of mothers will turn to formula. Up to 60% of mothers don’t breastfeed for as long as they intended.

Why do so many mothers stop breastfeeding when they intend to do it longer? Well, as previously stated, breastfeeding initially is not easy. There are several reasons why mothers stop but the most influential factors are typically issues with lactation and latching, initial pain, concerns about infant nutrition and weight, unsupportive work policies, cultural norms or lack of family/friend support.

You may ask yourself, what are the benefits to breastfeeding? Why even do it if formula is “just as good”. Well, the benefits are not only for the infant but also the mother. Infants that are breastfeed have the reduced risks of asthma, obesity, Type 2 diabetes, ear and respiratory infections and sudden infant death syndrome. The benefits for the mother include lower risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, ovarian cancer and breast cancer. In addition to medical benefits, breastfeeding provides a very special bond between the mother and the infant. The infant will breastfeed not only for food but also for security, to feel close to the mother and to help with sleep. While an infant that is formula fed will still gain a special bond and receive security through other means, there is something more intimate about breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding also makes it easier to feed your baby anywhere. No need to worry about warming up formula or getting it ready when the baby is screaming for food. Breastfeeding is more cost effective for families. It could cost up to $100 a month for formula which adds up to $1200 a year.

Breastfeeding is not for everyone and there are many reasons why a woman shouldn’t breastfeed. However, if you are wanting to breastfeed and would like more information about it. Please visit the sites listed.

https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/index.htm
https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/ -Monthly support groups all over the US

helping little ones learn the value of money

8/26/2014

Several families have asked me about how they can teach their young children to understand the value of money. Kids are learning about money every day when they see you shopping or see ads on TV. Helping children develop an understanding of the value of money goes beyond knowing how much something costs.

A good place to start is by talking aloud about the choices you make regarding where to shop and what to buy. Talk about how you choose which place to shop and the steps you go through to find the best value of items.
Talk about the difference between things you need and things you want, and how to decide when it is the right time to buy something you want.
Talk about how you earn your income- that it requires doing work and waiting to get paid.
Play is always a great way for kids to experiment and figure things out- make some play money for your child to use, or for kids a little older play games like Monopoly or Life.
Even kids as young as preschool can start to have jobs around the house where they contribute and can earn things, whether it be monetary or privileges.
Point out fun things that can be done without money, and create free adventures for your family.

Sesame Street has a great toolkit for parents that discusses teaching the value of money through spending, saving and sharing. It is called "For Me, For You, For Later" and has video clips and printable resources that can be found at: http://www.sesamestreet.org/parents/topicsandactivities/toolkits/save.

The Sesame Street website has great tool kits for parents on a wide variety of topics that are worth checking out.

Back to school steps for success

7/22/2014

The transition back to school can be a challenge for many kids and families. Here are some simple pointers to help make it a smooth transition.

Focus on the fun aspects of starting a new school year- seeing old friends, making new friends, learning new fun stuff.
Avoid saying things that make your child worry or feel guilty like "I wonder if your teacher will be nice," "I wonder how hard your work will be this year," or "I'm going to miss you so much."
Get back onto the school schedule at home with bed time and wake up time a couple weeks ahead of time. A steady sleep schedule and routine sets your child up for success.
Reconnect with school friends. Set up some play dates with kids
Get Excited! If you are excited instead of worries your child will pick up on that positive energy and be excited about starting school too.

starting a healthy relationship talk with your pre-teen

5/20/2014

Children learn about relationships all over the place- at home, school, TV, internet, out in the community. They are exposed to models of all different sorts of relationships. The pre-teen years are when dating and relationships start to take on more importance. Here are some tips about important points to cover when talking about relationships with your pre-teen.

Explain the dynamics of healthy relationships (shared values, respect, support, compromise, communication) versus unhealthy relationships (possessiveness, physical aggression, guilt trips, threats or intimidation, always one person's way), and be clear about what behaviors are not okay to do or have done to you in a relationship.
Draw on concrete examples your child knows from real life or the media to explain different types of relationships and their pros and cons. Look for opportunities like seeing something happen in public or on TV to talk about the relationship just portrayed.
Talk about relationships more than once. Make yourself available when your pre-teen shows an interest in talking and give the conversation your full attention.
Be honest about what you know and what your opinions are. It's okay to not have all the answers. You can always take time to think about a question posed and come back to the conversation later.
Try to be a good role model in relationships and admit your own mistakes and what you learned form them.
Teach your pre-teen the importance of assertiveness, resolving conflicts in a respectful and healthy way, and negotiating. Give them opportunities to work on these skills at home.

Author

Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in Sarasota and St. Petersburg, Florida. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology.

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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 727.401.7327
4071 Bee Ridge Road, Suite 204 780 94th Ave N, Suite 112
Sarasota, FL 34233 St Petersburg, FL 33702