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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
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The Importance of Free Time and Play for Children by tara motzenbecker, ms, ncsp

1/25/2019

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The American Academy of Pediatrics advocates for the protection of
children’s unstructured playtime because of its numerous benefits, including
the development of foundational motor skills that may have lifelong benefits
for the prevention of obesity, hypertension, and type 2 diabetes. Play is also one of the principal ways in which children develop understanding, explore conflict, and rehearse emotional and social skills. A child's language is play. Unfortunately, in the world we live in, well-intentioned parents often feel pressure to sign children up for multiple structured enrichment activities such as music lessons, tutoring, etc. When you combine these structured activities with all of the structured time spent in school and then out of school doing homework, the children have hardly any free time left. Yet it is during their free time that children learn how to take risks, how to solve boredom, how to connect socially, and how to problem solve with others.  

For example, picture a brother and a sister who are home and decide to play “lava”. They have to agree on certain rules for jumping over the lava (aka the floor). They have to negotiate, and they use their creativity to make up the world that is in their shared imagination. A younger sibling may let the older sibling take charge, but eventually the younger child will want to add in an extra rule and have to stand up to the older sibling. These siblings have learned negotiation, 
creativity, compromise, navigating risk, and how to summon courage. Children need to develop these skills as children, or we are setting them up to be teenagers and adults that feel anxious when they have to make decisions or engage in anything risky.  


So the next time your child says, “I’m bored!”, you can pat yourself on the back, resist the urge to alleviate the boredom, walk away and know that this is going to be an important time in your child’s development.

Remember, birds fly. Fish swim. Children play.

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Snowballing Debt by rachel funnell, lmft

1/18/2019

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Debt is a major source of stress for most people, so figuring out a way to get out of the debt quickly is ideal. One quick way to get out of debt is to use the snowballing method. This method allows a person to start small with very focused intensity on one debt at a time until all the debt is paid off.
 
How does this method work?
In short, you’ll pay off your debts from smallest to largest. First, you will need to get organized by creating a spreadsheet or document where you can list all of your debt from smallest to largest. Then you begin to make minimum payments on every debt except the smallest one. You are going to put every extra dollar you have towards that smallest debt until it’s paid off. Once that debt is paid off you will take the money you were putting to the first debt and start to apply it to the minimum payment of the next smallest debt. This allows you to be putting more money towards the second debt while continuing to make minimum payments on the other debts. Once the second debt is paid off, you take all that money and apply it to the next debt. You continue to do this until all your debt is paid off.
 
Why does this method work?
There has been a lot of research on the snowballing debt method and it all says that it’s the most efficient and effective way to manage debt. The reason this method works so well is due to seeing results so quickly. You will begin to feel good when you start to pay off each debt and actually see a lot of progress on the debt that you’re focused on. When you start to pay off each debt, it will give you motivation to continue with this method until all your debt is gone. This motivation will also help you make wiser choices regarding what you are spending your money on. You will begin to eat out less or not buy things that you really don’t need at that moment.
 
How to make this method even more effective?
If you are looking to make this method even more effective, then create a budget for all your debt and expenses. By creating a budget, you will be able to keep track of where all your money is going and even find areas in which you could reduce spending and add the extra money to your debt. The best way to stick to your budget is to reduce the frequency of using debit or credit cards and just use cash to pay for everything. By using cash, you are more likely to pay attention to how much you are spending because it’s tangible. When we swipe a credit card or debit card we are too removed from it to make better decisions on our purchases. Take out a certain amount of cash each month that will go to all of your living expenses. Then create an envelope for each of the expenses and put the designated amount of cash in it. You will then take the money from the envelope when needed and it will help you stick to your budget. While sticking to a budget can be hard, using cash will set you up for success.
 

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Happy New Year! resolution tips by dr. kirsten ellingsen

1/4/2019

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For many the start of a new year is a time to reflect and set resolutions. It presents an opportunity to assess both achievements and disappointments from the past year, to cultivate gratitude, and to set goals for change.  It might bring a sense of hope and excitement for new possibilities, as well as a time to grieve from loss or unmet needs and reconcile expectations about what you thought would occur and your present reality.
 
While making lifestyle changes to improve general health is a positive endeavor (and can happen any time), there might be pressure to set unattainable resolutions this time of year.
 
If you want to set goals for change in the new year:
  • Make a plan.
  • Keep it simple.
  • Be specific.
Identify one or two behaviors in a general area (e.g., run twice a week for 30 minutes vs exercise more, turn off the TV and computer at 8:00pm vs spend less time on electronics). Be realistic. Change takes time and effort. (And research now finds that habits take between 18-254 days to form (averaging 66 days not 21 as previously thought)                                         https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ejsp.674.
 
Also, consider resolutions that relate to promoting family health and strengthening family relationships. This effort can start with reducing family stress. The article “Managing Stress for a Healthy Family” offers the following five suggestions to help: (https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/managing-stress.aspx)
 
  • Evaluate your lifestyle. Model healthy behaviors for children
  • Talk about it. Initiate conversations and provide opportunities for your children to talk about their feelings. Ask how they are doing.
  • Create a healthy environment. Create a clear and relaxing physical environment
  • Focus on yourself. Make sure you are eating well and getting enough physical activity and sleep
  • Change one habit at a time. Focus on changing one behavior at a time to reduce feeling overwhelmed and increase success
 
Get everyone involved in setting family goals. Making positive lifestyle change is easier with support. Involving your children and partner can help. Focus the discussion on positive changes and point out achievements from the past year. The Gottman Institute offers the following suggestions as “resolutions that are easier kept as a family” 1) go to bed at the same time 2) unplug devices 3) eat meals together 4) create reading time 5) exercise as a family 6) work toward a financial goal 7) switch out soda and 8) go meatless one day a week. (See https://www.gottman.com/blog/make-new-years-resolutions-family-affair/) Make your new years resolutions a family affair).
 
 (For recommendations on helping children identify and set their OWN goals see https://www.parents.com/holiday/new-years/resolution/8-ways-to-help-kids-make-new-years-resolutions/).
 
Finally aim for gradual, ongoing change that is sustainable.  Think about what would work for you and your family. Don’t give up if you have a set back- life is full of unexpected challenges and some days are just hard. Getting back on track and working toward the goals you set for yourself or as a family is a great model for your children of resilience and perseverance.
 
Happy 2019! 

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    Author

    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 (Office)
727.304.3619 (Fax)                                                                                                                                                               
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