Parent and Child Psychological Services of Sarasota
  • Home
  • About Our Team
  • General Therapy Info
  • Anxiety
  • Behavior Problems/PCIT
  • OCD, PANS/PANDAS & BFRBs
  • Selective Mutism
  • Trauma
  • Testing
  • Resources & Events
  • FAQs
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Notice of Privacy Practices
  • No Surprise Act
  • Employment/Training Opportunities
Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
​Instagram: @childtherapysrq

The Return to School: Four Tips to Support a Better Start By Kirsten Ellingsen, PhD

8/27/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
School and learning will be different this year.  While stress and uncertainty are common at the start of every school year, these are particularly high for many children and their families this year. Both in- person or virtual / online learning options will require new routines, expectations, and behaviors. Students also begin the school year with different family stressors, resources, and pandemic experiences that will influence how ready and able they are to engage in school and learning. Supporting the social and emotional development, mental health, and resiliency of children provides the essential foundation for learning to occur, regardless of location. Below are four general tips that all parents can use support their children as they start school.

  1. Talk About It
Check in with your child to see how he or she is feeling. Ask calmly as an open-ended question “How are you feeling about this?”.  (This allows any feelings to come from your child; rather than assuming how they feel). (See: https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/back-to-school-free-printable-care-package).
 
Validate all feelings. Children might feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, as well as excited, happy, bored. Their feelings might change throughout the day and might be conflicting. All these feelings are OK. Listen and allow a child to express feelings without dismissing or trying to “fix” and negative feelings that they express. Help children to find positive ways to express difficult emotions. Also, allow positive feelings and try not to question these. Some children are doing well.  (See: https://www-huffpost-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/help-kid-cope-back-to-school_l_5f329ca9c5b64cc99fde5586/amp).
 
 
2. Manage Worry and Expectations
Listen to concerns calmly and respond with kindness. Show Empathy and Understanding. Focus on PRACTICAL vs HYPOTHETICAL WORRIES. It is ok to acknowledge risks. Create an action plan for how to reduce worries. Limit “what if” discussions that focus on extreme negative outcomes that are not likely.
 
Be careful not to make general reassurance statements (e.g., “everything will be OK, you have nothing to worry about"). No one can predict the future or give this guarantee. These types of statements minimize feelings and make children feel their concerns are not valid. Rather, focus on what is in your control. Discuss how schools are taking precautions and how students can minimize risk (distancing, hand washing, masking).
 
Practice Relaxation Strategies. Do slow calm breathing with your child/teen daily Practice with a mask on if a child is returning to school.  Have time to just relax and reset at the end of the day. in through the nose, out through the mouth with a longer exhale. Finally, Monitor signs for stress and anxiety.  (See https://parentsupportduringcovid19.com for more relaxation techniques including Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Guided Imagery and Grounding).
 
Try the STOP Technique: 
S (Scared) What is going on in your body? 
T (Thoughts) What are you thinking?
O (Other thoughts) What is something else you can think?
P (Praise & Plan) What is something nice to say to yourself? What can you do next time? What is good? What can you control?  What can you control? What is good in new routine?
(https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/help-children-cope-with-back-to-school-anxiety)
 
 
3. Problem Solve and Prepare
Discuss the plan for school days. Encourage proactively talking about potential problems and issues. Identify what worked and what did not work well last spring (particularly if online learning was challenging). Ask your child/teen, “how can we make this a better experience?” and come up with specific changes to try.
 
Problem solve together. Listen and consider all suggestions. Don’t immediately dismiss what is said. Offer your own practical suggestions for change. Evaluate and point out what is working and make changes as needed. Troubleshoot together. This will help children feel some control and practice coming up with ideas and changes to make learning work better. Monitor stress (for you and your child). Remember the big picture, children learn best when calm and emotionally regulated. This is an unusual time and everyone needs more compassion.
 
Role play or rehearse potentially stressful situations (e.g., what to say when someone gets too close at school, technology issues, how to express frustrations or ask for breaks). Practicing how to handle potentially difficult or upsetting situations will help you and your child stay calm. Come up with a notecard of calming options when a child starts to get frustrated or visual cue to ask for a break. Talk about what might happen, there will be difficult moments and new challenges. Talking about it and identifying what to do before a problem occurs will also build problem solving and emotion regulation skills so that everyone can better manage challenging moments. (See also: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/kids-covid-19/art-20482508).
 
4. Set Your Child Up for Success
 
Schedule and Routines. Establish a schedule together for work and relaxation time. Schedules provides structure and predictability (make simple visual schedule with built in “down time”/free choice times).  Create and maintain consistent morning routine and bedtime routine. Keep these as consistent as possible. Consistency and predictability help reduce anxiety. Use visual schedules or checklists to promote independence.
 
Adequate sleep, good nutrition, and exercise daily are important for health and absolutely protective during stressful times. (See also
https://www.unicef.org/coronavirus/supporting-your-childs-mental-health-during-covid-19-school-return).
 
Keep online activity safe. Check that your child’s device has the privacy settings are on. Keep webcams covered when not in use and set parental controls, including safe search. Use a common area or check in when you can. Encourage children to be kind and respectful to classmates and to tell you about any bullying or inappropriate contact or interactions. See Tips and Scripts for Managing Screen Time When School Is Online at https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/tips-and-scripts-for-managing-screen-time-when-school-is-online-0.
 
Model Resiliency and Healthy Coping. Be careful what you say. How you talk about school sets the tone. Be aware about the impact of complaining about your frustration and concerns in front of your children.  Rather than complaining and venting in front of your child, acknowledge their feelings and help them look for some positive, alternative ways to view their situation. Use “and” rather than “but” to accept both thoughts (e.g., “you feel __because __, but you get to ___). Practice deep breathing to calm the nervous system and relaxation strategies daily. (See https://childmind.org/article/how-to-avoid-passing-anxiety-on-to-your-kids/).
 
Remember how you handle your anxiety, your own stress, and how you act throughout the day will strongly influence how children react and think about their own situation. Take breaks when you are able, even short breaks to calm or self-care, so you can connect, be present, and enjoy positive moments with your child during each day.
 
As much as possible, children need to feel safe, secure and positive about their current circumstance and the future. Even in a pandemic. Please seek support from schools, your pediatrician, or a therapist if you or your child are struggling or you need more strategies to manage anxiety or learning.  Please contact us if you need more support or help. 

1 Comment

Navigating Remote-School for Children with Selective Mutism By Tara Motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

8/20/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
A new school year can be a stressful time for all.  Factor in the many unique challenges that this school year brings, and you may be left wondering how to advocate for the success of your child with selective mutism, especially during remote-learning. 

First, what is selective mutism? Selective mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak in select social settings or with certain people, such as school or the teacher at school. Children with selective mutism are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable and more relaxed, such as at home or with peers. 

Here are some tips for assisting your child with selective mutism this school year:

  • Fade-ins are always beneficial. Allow the child to meet with the teacher one-on-one (virtually or in-person) to speak without the rest of the class present prior to the start of school. If this is not possible, it is advised to schedule a one-on-one time with the teacher either before or after the school day so the child can practice speaking to the teacher in a less stressful environment as soon as possible. ​
  • *Considerations for remote-learners: Fade-ins can be conducted remotely. Ask the teacher to start with his/her camera off while you and your child play a game requiring verbalizations (e.g. I Spy) in front of your camera. Once your child is comfortably answering your questions, you can instruct the teacher to turn on their camera and gradually begin making their way closer to the screen. As your child continues to be verbal with you, the teacher can slowly integrate themselves more into the game/activity until your child is ready to answer the teacher’s forced-choice questions (e.g. Do you have a brother or sister, or no siblings?). If possible, keep the interaction play-based and fun. 
  • Implement a daily report card for your child’s specific goals. With the teacher, identify two goals each week for the child (e.g. raising their hand, verbally responding to teacher, verbally responding to peers, increasing volume of verbalizations, staying in front of the camera). Have the teacher “check” or put a sticker each time the child completes the goal activity. At the end of the day and at the end of the week, reward your child at home for meeting goals. Goals should be gradually increased in difficulty week to week. 

For more information about Selective Mutism, visit www.SelectiveMutism.org.

1 Comment

The Stages of Change: Where are you in the change process? By Rachel Funnell, LMFT

8/13/2020

0 Comments

 
Picture
At many times throughout life, people will want to change something about themselves. Whether it’s weight, a character “flaw”, how they view things or think, or an unhelpful habit. Then there are times when others think that we need to change something and we just don’t see it. Either way, it’s important to understand the Stages of Change model. By understanding this model, you will have a better understanding as to which stage you or someone you know is in. This insight could help give you the push you need to make the change or help you to accept where you or others are at in the process. 
​

The Stages of Change is a model that was introduced in the late 1970s by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. This model has been found to be an effective aid in understanding how people go through a change in behavior. It’s important to note that change occurs gradually and relapses are an inevitable part of the process. 

Stage 1: Precontemplation 
    People in the precontemplation stage of change aren’t even thinking about changing. They don’t see that there is a problem to begin with. Dr. DiClemente referred to the reasons to be in precontemplation as the “Four Rs”. 
  1. Reluctant precontemplators: Those that lack the knowledge or desire to even want to consider change. The impact of the problem hasn’t become fully conscious. 
  2. Rebellious precontemplators: Those that have a heavy investment in continuing the behavior and in making their own decisions. They do not want to be told what to do. 
  3. Resigned precontemplators: Those that have given up hope about a possibility of change and the problem seems too overwhelming. These individuals have made many attempts to change. 
  4. Rationalizating precontemplators: Those that have all the answers and lots of reasons to continue the behavior. The behavior is a problem for others but not them. 

Stage 2: Contemplation
    People in this stage are willing to consider the possibility of changing the behavior. Those in this stage are highly ambivalent. They are often interested in learning about how to change their behavior and have reasons for changing their behavior but still can’t make a decision to change. These people often tell themselves and others that “someday I’ll change”. 

Stage 3: Preparation
    Those in this stage make the decision to change/stop the behavior. In this stage the person is making the plans to change. Not all ambivalence is resolved yet but it’s no longer a huge barrier to change. In this stage, people will make a serious attempt to change in the near future. 

Stage 4: Action
    People in this stage of change put their plan into action. This stage often includes some form of public commitment to change the behavior in order to get external confirmation of the plan. The person may avoid previous triggers, reach out for help, or take other steps to avoid temptation. This stage normally takes three to six months to complete. 

Stage 5: Maintenance
    In this stage, a person is able to maintain their changed behavior over a sustained period of time. The real test of change is long-term sustained change over many years. In this stage a person is building new patterns of behavior that continue on its own momentum with little outside intervention.


Stage 6: Relapse
    In any behavior change, relapses are a common occurrence. The key to success is to not let these setbacks undermine your self-confidence. If you lapse back into old behaviors, ask yourself why it happened. Sometimes people begin to relax their guard and they think that they have control over it. It is not uncommon to relapse and go through the Stages of Change several times. But slips give people the chance to learn and grow. 

​

Picture
0 Comments

    Author

    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 (Office)
727.304.3619 (Fax)                                                                                                                                                               
4071 Bee Ridge Road, Suite 204                                                                                                              
Sarasota, FL 34233                                                                                                                                   
Proudly powered by Weebly