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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 941.877.6683 (SMS Text)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
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Cyberbullying By Rachel Funnell, LMFT

10/22/2020

2 Comments

 
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In today’s society, the internet and cell phones are used by practically everyone, especially children and teens. There are so many different types of apps, games or social media accounts that put everyone at risk of getting scammed or bullied. Below I’m going to talk about cyberbullying and how to protect your children and teens from it. 

What is Cyberbullying?
    Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like a cell phone, computer or tablet. It can occur through SMS, text messages, apps or even online social media, forums or gaming. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else that causes embarrassment or humiliation. At times, cyberbullying can even cross the line into unlawful or criminal behaviors. 

What does it look like?
    It’s important to know what cyberbullying looks like so that you can easily recognize it and take action. It’s also important to make sure that your children and teens know what it looks like. Below are some of the most common tactics used. 
  • Posting comments or rumors about someone online that are mean, hurtful, or embarrassing. 
  • Threatening to hurt someone or telling them to kill themselves. 
  • Posing a mean or hurtful picture or video. 
  • Pretending to be someone else online in order to solicit or post personal or false information about someone else. 
  • Posting mean or hateful names, comments, or content about any race, religion, ethnicity, or other personal characteristics online.
  • Creating a mean or hurtful webpage about someone. 
  • Doxing, an abbreviated form of the word documents, is a form of online harassment used to exact revenge and to threaten and destroy the privacy of individuals by making their personal information public, including addresses, social security, credit card and phone numbers, links to social media accounts, and other private data or other personal characteristics online.
Warning signs a child is being bullied or bullying others:
  • Noticeable increases or decreases in device use, including texting.
  • A child exhibits emotional responses (laughter, anger, upset) to what is happening on their device.
  • A child hides their screen or device when others are near, and avoids discussion about what they are doing on their device.
  • Social media accounts are shut down or new ones appear.
  • A child starts to avoid social situations, even those that were enjoyed in the past.
  • A child becomes withdrawn or depressed, or loses interest in people and activities.
How to prevent and stop cyberbullying:
  1. Talk regularly with your children about online issues. Be specific and let them know that they can come talk to you if they are concerned about something being inappropriate, upsetting or dangerous. 
  2. Build trust with your children by setting limits but explaining your reasons for them and discuss rules for safety and Internet use. Get your children involved in establishing the rules so that they are more likely to follow them. 
  3. Keep computers in a common area of the home. Monitor their online use. 
  4. Learn about the various types of social networking apps and sites. See the link provided. https://www.familyeducation.com/mobile-apps/a-complete-guide-to-potentially-dangerous-apps-all-parents-should-be-aware-of  
  5. Tell your children to not respond to any cyberbullying threats or comments. However, make sure they don’t delete any messages. Instead print them out, along with the email addresses or social media handles. This will help prove that there is cyberbullying happening. 
  6. If there are threats of physical violence or the bullying continues to escalate, contact law enforcement. 
  7. Report cyberbullying on the social media platforms and to schools. Most social media platforms and schools have clear policies and a reporting process. 
  8. Don’t over or underreact by either blaming your child or telling them to shrug it off. 
  9. Talk to the school’s guidance counselor so they can pay attention to anything happening at school. 
  10. Tell your children to not be an accomplice by forwarding messages to other kids.
  11.  Set clear expectations with your children about online and messaging behaviors. 
  12.  Educate your children on the harmful effects of cyberbullying. 
  13.  Identify which apps are appropriate for your child to use and which are not.

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Breathing to Calm and Feel Better By Kirsten Ellingsen, PhD

10/15/2020

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Calm breathing helps regulate emotion, lower anxiety, reduce anger, and can help better manage stress. Think about how you breathe when you feel calm and relaxed. Often when a person is feeling calm, breathing is slow and air fills low into the diaphragm. Thoughts are more clear. It is easier to feel present.

Now consider how you breathe when you are angry, upset, anxious, stressed. When people are anxious, angry, or stressed breathing usually becomes faster and is shallow. This type of “chest breathing” can signal a fight or flight response which tells your body that you are in danger. Thinking is not as clear. Behavior is more reactive. It is hard to connect, to learn, to enjoy. This is true for adults and children.

Learning how to deliberately breathe slow and deep into the diaphragm can counter these feelings and send a message to your brain to calm down and relax. This is calm breathing. It is a research supported “go-to” strategy to calm down. It can be done anytime and anywhere, but it does take practice to use effectively.

Two important components of calming breathing: breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth and make sure to exhale longer than inhale.

Try it. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Put one hand on your stomach and feel it rise with the inhale. Place another hand on your chest. Exhale longer through your mouth. The hand on your chest should not move as much as the hand on your stomach while you breathe. Repeat.

Below are different breathing techniques to learn and practice. Do these yourself and with your child.

Techniques to teach belly breathing:
  • ​Belly Breathing with a Stuffed Animal: Lie down with your child on floor/bed/couch. Place a stuffed animal on your stomach. Tell your child that the goal is to fill your belly with air and watch the stuffed animal rise when you breathe in (through nose) and drop when you exhale (through your mouth). Demonstrate. Have your child do this with you. Watch the animal rise on inhale and lower on exhale.
  • Pizza Breathing: Pretend that you are smelling a delicious hot piece of pizza. Slowly take a big breath in through your nose to smell the pizza. Then even slower, blow out through your mouth to cool down the pizza slice.
  • Balloon Breathing: Have your child put one hand on his/her chest and one on belly. Tell your child to imagine blowing up a balloon in his/her belly. Now, ask your child to breathe in through the nose to inflate the balloon. Feel his or her stomach move out. Have child breathe out through the mouth and say “haaa”. Exhale should be longer than inhale. (See https://gozen.com/belly-breathing-to-calm-your-anxious-child/).
  • Blowing bubbles, pinwheels, and shape breathing (square and triangle) are also activities that can help show and practice belly breathing. See (https://copingskillsforkids.com/deepbreathing-exercises-for-kids and https://www.pbs.org/parents/crafts-andexperiments/practice-mindfulness-with-belly-breathing).
Slow, deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body. Practicing calm breathing daily will reduce stress and help regulate emotions for you and your child. Practicing diaphragmatic breathing on your own and with your child on a regular basis makes it easier to access calm during stressful times. Remind your child that taking short, quick breaths can actually make anxious or angry feelings worse. Sometimes we breathe too much when upset.
Slow down. Breathe less, but deeper. When you make your breathing slower, deeper, and more steady- your body will relax. It is hard to be angry, anxious, or stressed when you are relaxed. And this, increasing calm, certainly is an excellent goal for us all right now

2 Comments

Discussing Politics with your Children By Tara Motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

10/8/2020

1 Comment

 
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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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