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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
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Helping Children and Teens Develop a Healthy Body Image By Jessica Custer, M.A.

11/30/2023

9 Comments

 
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The development of a healthy body image and self esteem begins in childhood as children learn to appreciate what their bodies can do and how to keep bodies healthy. The National Eating Disorders Association reports that by the age of 6 years old children are beginning to express negative feelings about their bodies, and 40 to 60 % of elementary age girls (6-12) are concerned about weight and getting fat. That is a concerning amount of young girls that are already feeling the pressure to fit a certain ideal body image and it is important for parents to start early in helping children develop a healthy body image and continue the conversation into the teen years when risks can increase. It is not only girls who are concerned with their bodies either. Often boys have poor body image linked to their ideal view of a muscular, lean build. A poor body image can put kids at risk for developing eating disorders as well as anxiety and depression. Parents can help their children avoid developing a negative body image and the pressures of trying to achieve an unrealistic ideal in many different ways.

The first step is to be aware of your own feelings about your body and how you may express that around your children. Children are very aware of parents who criticize themselves for weight gain or are spending a lot of time dieting and focusing on weight control. Being conscious of how we talk about ourselves and the messages we are sending to our children through our own behavior can have a big impact on how their own feelings develop about their body. Having conversations that focus on how amazing our bodies are and celebrating what they can do is more beneficial than finding areas to criticize or be self conscious about. 

Children of mothers who are overly concerned about their weight are at risk for adopting their unhealthy attitudes and behaviors. Encouraging a child to diet or children overhearing parents speaking about their own diet is linked to the development of both eating disorders and being overweight as a child. Instead, shifting the focus to enjoying a variety of healthy foods and eating the rainbow is a better way to teach healthy habits. Make mealtime a fun time and encourage your children to help you prepare meals and try new things. It is also important to avoid labeling foods or food groups as good or bad. We can teach children and teens to fuel their bodies in a balanced way, and allow them to enjoy treats as well. It is important to teach  children what benefits certain foods provide to their bodies and connect that to balanced meal planning. Including regular body movement also encourages healthy connection to our bodies and what they can do. Making time to move as a family can promote lifelong healthy habits that do not have to be connected to weight or weight loss. 

Another area of concern is the influences that kids and teens are exposed to through social media, television or movies, and advertising. A 2015 Common Sense Media Survey found that many teens who are active on social media fear how others view them, and  girls are particularly vulnerable. 35%  of girls are worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos, 27% feel stressed about how they look in posted photos, 22% felt bad about themselves if their photos were ignored. Social media use is a great concern for kids and teens for many reasons and research is developing to help guide parents in how to manage it appropriately. The Surgeon General recently released a health advisory addressing social media use as an urgent public health issue. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, social media use among young people is nearly universal, as up to 95% of youth aged 13 to 17 years reported using a social media platform. This report acknowledges some potential benefits for teens in developing and maintaining social relationships, but awareness has to be made of the dangers as well. The advisory warns, “According to statistics provided in the Surgeon General’s advisory, 46% of adolescents aged 13 to 17 years said social media makes them feel worse about their body image.” Monitoring young children on social media is very important to ensure that what they are viewing is developmentally appropriate and promoting a positive view of body image and as kids develop into teens, an open dialogue with teens about how they manage their own social media and exposure will be beneficial to teaching healthy habits. 

It can be overwhelming to think about how to help kids with their body image development. There are so many influences outside of parents control and the culture we live in influences our children. Parents can invite their children to be activists with them in changing the public perception of the ideal appearance by talking positively about different body types and noticing more than a person’s appearance. Remembering to model healthy body image and celebrate different body types with children goes a long way toward fostering a healthy body image in kids. Even body neutrality can be beneficial to model when positivity is challenging. Parents can send the message to their children that they are special, unique, and loved just as they are every day and that will contribute to how they feel about themselves. That makes a big difference. If you notice your child or teen is overly focused on their body or appearance and is struggling with confidence in this area, it is important to get them professional help sooner rather than later. The prevention of eating disorders and body image issues is much easier to tackle than treatment for a full blown disorder.

If your teen daughter is struggling with body image concerns, we are starting a new group for teen girls called The Body Project that is starting January 10, 2024. The Body Project is a weekly, evidence based group led by myself, Jessica Custer, M.A., and Katelyn Goll, BS, to help teen girls address body dissatisfaction and the prevention of the development of an eating disorder. There will be 6 weekly, in person sessions, at 4pm on Wednesdays. One parent session and one individual session are required prior to the group starting. Contact us for more information, (941) 357-4090, or email [email protected].


References
“Body Image.” National Eating Disorders Association, 2022, https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/body-image-0.
“Fostering Body Positivity in Children.” National Eating Disorders Association, 11 Apr. 2017, https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/fostering-body-positivity-in-young-children.
“The Body Project.” National Eating Disorders Association, 9 Mar. 2020, https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-involved/the-body-project.
Fitch, Joshua. Surgeon General Issues Advisory Regarding Effects Social Media Has on Youths’ Mental Health. 24 Mar. 2023, https://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/view/surgeon-general-issues-advisory-regarding-effects-social-media-has-on-youths-mental-health.
Parenting, Media, and Everything in Between | Common Sense Media. http://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/social-media. Accessed 8 June 2023.


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Managing Your Child’s Behaviors During the Holidays By Megan Millikan-Pethtel, PsyD, Postdoctoral Fellow

11/22/2023

3 Comments

 
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Although the holiday season can be a time of year filled with lots of fun and excitement, it can also be a time of year filled with stress and business. Between holiday gatherings, school functions and performances, winter break, and other various activities, this can create a unique set of challenges that can leave parents feeling overwhelmed. Changes in routine during the holidays can also be difficult for children. Some children might even struggle with time away from school and becoming bored at home. Thus, it’s no surprise that both parents and children can find themselves in both exciting and yet challenging times around the holidays. Oftentimes for children, this might result in an increase in problematic behaviors. Although we might not be able to prevent all of these behaviors altogether, there may be ways to help parents feel more confident in managing these behaviors through the holiday season. 

So what can we do to try to make this time of year as manageable as possible with children? I’m glad you asked! Below are some helpful tips and ideas of ways to navigate this holiday season with your little ones. While every strategy might not work for every family, I encourage you to consider which of these may work well in your current family unit and daily routine. 

Manage Your Expectations. Recognize that this can be a challenging time of year for children and their behaviors. Thus, maybe little Johnny finds himself getting into a few more arguments with his sister Susie than normal. That’s okay. That’s where our next tip, staying calm, can come in handy. Lean on all the parenting skills you already know and stay firm with those techniques. And just remember that your child isn’t purposely acting out, but maybe they too feel some of the stress or excitement of the holiday season that even us adults feel. We don’t expect your children to be on their best behavior this time of year. Sometimes just setting your expectations accordingly can do a great deal for helping you manage your own well-being. 

Stay Calm. When your child does start to misbehave, remind yourself that it’s okay. Take a few deep breaths and use your own coping skills. Then approach the situation in as calm a way as possible with a neutral tone. By keeping your own composure, you can model that appropriate behavior to your child and possibly help them regulate some! By validating their emotions their behaviors are likely expressing, you may be able to help to de-escalate the situation and model emotion naming skills (e.g., “I know you’re upset because you want to go home and play with your new toys you just got, and it’s hard being patient, but we’ll be home later today and you’ll have lots of time with your new toys”). 

Keep to a Routine as Much as Possible. Even though your routine this time of year might look different, especially if you have children home for school for winter break, keeping as much of a routine as possible may be beneficial. If you can stick to some small routines (e.g., bedtime and nighttime routines, wake up time, meal times, etc.), this provides some consistency for children to lean on. You could even involve your children in creating these routines to help them feel like more active participants in the creation of these routines, which can then help with active engagement! Adding breaks and fun activities into routines also gives children something to look forward to and hopefully promotes positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.  

Offer Choices. When possible, consider offering your child choices in what activities you do. Maybe they can’t determine whether or not they go to some specific events, but maybe they can help to pick out which holiday movie you watch one evening. If you’re out running errands together, maybe they can even help by selecting which store you go to first. Just remember that whenever you offer a child choices, you have to be okay with whatever option they select. These options may help them to feel more involved and more control, and ultimately may be helpful in reducing the number of problematic behaviors. 

Provide Rewards. Like we’ve said multiple times now, behaving during the holiday season may be difficult for children. So when they are behaving, give them lots of reinforcement for those behaviors! Praise them for being helpful, flexible, patient, and all the things you want to see from them during this time of year. Praising these behaviors can help to increase these behaviors in the future. Additionally, setting up reward systems can be a great preventative tool to help set children up for success. These reward systems can motivate children to engage in more positive behaviors from the beginning, which should help to decrease problematic behaviors before they even occur. 

Prepare for the Transition Back to School. After a long winter break, after the excitement of the holidays has slowed, the transition back to school can be a particularly tough one. However, a little preparation work can go a long way. Begin preparing your child for transitioning back to school a few days in advance by talking to them about going back to school. Promote coping skills if your child has any emotional reactions to this idea, and use your own coping skills for yourself as well! Planning some fun activities during the first week back may function as extra motivators for the child. Perhaps you pack them their favorite lunch or prepare their favorite dinner meals that week, or maybe you have a special activity planned for that weekend following their first week of school. These can all be great ways to motivate your child and help to give them something fun to look forward to. 

Have Fun! Finally, have fun with your children during this time of year. Get creative and enjoy the extra time you might have with your children! Perhaps this includes extra holiday themed activities together, making delicious snacks together, baking sweet treats, or sharing in some of your favorite holiday traditions. Or maybe it means doing other fun things and starting new traditions. Whatever the activity is, genuine quality time together between parents and children can be an excellent way to further connect and build memories together. These positive experiences can then help to motivate children to want to behave for their parents in the first place. 

Although navigating the holidays with children can be stressful, it can also be extremely rewarding. By using some of these ideas discussed, hopefully you can have a fun filled holiday season with minimal challenging behaviors! 

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Parenting Doesn’t Stop Past Childhood, Part 2: Raising Young Adults By Krista Morgan, BS

11/17/2023

6 Comments

 
In my last blog, Raising Teens, we focused on some important aspects of parenting teenagers as they mature out of childhood and begin to approach adulthood. By encouraging a sense of autonomy, establishing new boundaries, and engaging in constructive conflict resolution, parents are setting their teens up for success as they begin to develop an adult life for themselves outside of their childhood home. That being said, a parent’s work is never done! Here are some important tips for how you can continue to parent your child beyond high school, while respecting their new adult identity.

Support steps towards daily autonomy.
The transition from high school graduation to beyond can be very intimidating for many reasons. For the past 12+ years, your child likely has become accustomed to the daily routines of grade school, an allowance of spending money, the presence of consistent friends/family, and the expectation for daily needs being met for them. Once on their own, your child will quickly learn how much they may have previously taken for granted– and that’s ok! Experiencing the loss of expectations they didn’t realize they had is important so they know what they now need to provide for themselves. As a parent, it can be very helpful to foresee some of these changes and help set them up for a smoother transition to a life outside of your home. This can look like helping your child set up independent checking/savings/credit accounts, providing financial education for smart decision making, involve your child in processes like monthly bill payments and managing healthcare needs, and keying them in on the systems you have been maintaining so when it comes time for them to takeover they are aware of what responsibilities they will be taking on. Just be mindful that this should be a transition of responsibility versus a dumping of expectations. Another way parents can encourage daily autonomy includes modeling or enacting examples for organization and schedule-tracking. 

Normalize mistakes and encourage course-correction.
As your teenager enters adulthood, this new level of independence will lead to risky behaviors, miscalculated risks, and misinformed decision-making. Bottom line: your kid will mess up! It is important to not only expect for your child to make real-life mistakes, but understand how important learning from these mistakes can be as well as the impact your response to these situations can have on how closely your child trusts you to be there when trouble arises. It is important to respect the decisions your child makes and to be there for them regardless of the outcome. Be sure to manage your own emotions first, and remember there are many different ways you can be there in times of stress for your child: listen to their problems, validate their experience, take their perspective as new adults, collaborate for a solution. This can be most stressful when it comes to money, but just remember that even if you aren’t able to support a financial bailout you can still support a plan for budgeting and repayment to resolve the issue and prevent it from happening again– this can even be more helpful for your child to learn how to avoid these problems in the future and feel confident not having to depend on others to solve their problems for them!

Commit to regular engagement, even if it is not reciprocated.
As your now-adults are starting a new chapter of their lives, things can become very busy! They are so used to their friends and family constantly being around that they may forget to call, text, or email. But don’t mistake their lack of contact to mean they don’t need you— in fact, they probably need you now more than they even realize. Be the one to reach out, but don’t take offense if your messages aren’t returned. It’s important your child knows that even when then are busy juggling their new responsibilities, you are still available and committed to staying present in their life from afar. One way to keep showing up with encouragement when your child needs it is to keep a copy of their work/class schedule so you can check in with purpose— wish them luck on a big test, offer some sweet words of advice before a job interview, or offer relief with a weekend back home after a busy week of commitments. You can check in by sending care packages or small gifts that will be useful to them and show your child you’re still supporting them in little ways. Providing their favorite snacks, gas money, and gift cards to their favorite restaurants are perfect examples of treats that will brighten their day!


Parenting Resources:
​

https://www.sutterhealth.org/health/young-adults/relationships-social-skills/parenting-a-young-adult

https://www.bankrate.com/banking/checking/financial-literacy-young-adults/

https://theparentcue.org/what-to-do-when-your-adult-child-is-messing-up/

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/how-to-stop-enabling-grown-children-and-why-its-important/

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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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