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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 941.877.6683 (SMS Text)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
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New Years Gratitude By Tara Motzenbecker, NCSP, LMHC

12/29/2023

3 Comments

 
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Many of us have New Year’s resolutions with big ideas.  Having hopes and goals is wonderful! Sometimes those resolutions are hard to maintain throughout the year because they can be a big leap.  Go for those big ones, but it can also be a good idea to include a surefire manageable one such as practicing gratitude daily.   


One of the simplest ways to improve mood, reduce anxiety and improve your overall well being is to engage in gratitude practice. 


As humans, we are programmed to think negatively. Negative is our “autopilot” mode. This causes us to have very strong ‘negativity muscles’ in our brains. As we make this muscle stronger, it will get used more, simply by default. If we want to ever default to a positivity muscle (which would feel WAY better), we need to intentionally exercise that positivity muscle. 

The benefits of building that positivity muscle include improved relationships and self-esteem, improved decision making, strengthened immune system, improved sleep patterns and finding more joy and pleasure in everyday activities.

How can you practice gratitude?
​

Everyday, say three things you are grateful for. You can do this when you wake up in the morning, before you fall asleep at night, or just in moments of stress or anxiety. 

Keep a gratitude journal. Writing in it even for 5 minutes a day can be beneficial. 

Try a guided gratitude meditation. 

Share your gratitude with others.  Instead of simply saying, “thank you” when someone helps you, be specific and tell them exactly what you are thankful for and why. You both will benefit!

Use the 3:1 ratio.  For every one negative thought you have (about yourself, others or life in general), stop and intentionally think of three positive things.  This will help redirect your thought patterns and do wonders for that positivity muscle!

​

3 Comments

The H.A.L.T. Method By Izzy Dverokin, NCC, RMHCI

12/8/2023

7 Comments

 
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When your child has a tantrum or meltdown, it’s difficult for both of you. Your natural instinct is to solve the problem head on and do everything in your power to stop the tantrum. What we often forget is that many times the cause of a tantrum is an underlying need that is not being met, rather than a problem that needs to be solved. The HALT method was proposed by the doctors Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson in their book, No Drama Discipline. HALT was created as an acronym to help parents to ask themselves amidst a tantrum; Is my child hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? These questions seem simple, however they have a significant impact on increasing self-awareness. Helping your child understand the importance of addressing these needs may also assist in preventing additional meltdowns in the future. 

Hunger
Sometimes it’s important to go back to the basics. It’s so easy to forget how significant eating enough food, having enough water, and getting enough exercise are for our mental health. Being hungry is a recipe for dysregulation, no matter what age you are. Helping your child identify hunger cues at a young age is a beneficial tool in increasing their self-awareness. 

Having planned snack breaks, giving your child easy access to nutritious snacks, keeping snacks in the car and periodically checking in with your child to see if they are hungry are all ways to integrate making sure your child is getting enough to eat to stay fulfilled, energized, and regulated. When a child's blood sugar drops and a hangry attitude is on the rise, reasoning and negotiation are ineffective. 

Anger
If your child is angry, the first priority should be to help them regulate their emotions. You know your child best, do they need extra affection and for you to sit close to them? Words of affirmation? Or do they need space and alone time to cool off? Coping tools can also be helpful such as counting backwards from ten, taking deep breaths, or moving their body in a safe way to blow off some steam. 

Although we don't want to shield our children from feeling large emotions, it can be helpful to set expectations ahead of time, specifically for a situation that may typically push your child’s buttons. For example, before playing a game that your child dislikes losing, saying something such as “I know you’re excited to play ___ and sometimes losing can make you feel angry. It’s okay to be angry, but it is not okay to hit your brother.” Let your child know it is okay to be angry, but not all reactions (such as hitting) are okay. 

Loneliness
Loneliness can be trickier to recognize than anger and hunger. When a child is feeling a lack of connection, they may act out in negative, attention seeking ways. Sometimes when a child is acting out, what they really need is connection. It’s important to be intentional with the time you spend with your child, through planning set times to spend together, and engaging in activities you genuinely enjoy doing together. Being intentional with the time you spend with your child decreases the likelihood they will act out due to feeling a lack of connection and attention. 

Tiredness
There is a lot of truth to the common saying “they’re just overtired!” We ALL need sleep, regardless of our age. It’s crucial to make sure your child is getting enough sleep. Often kids are tired from a lack of good sleep, but busy, overstimulating days also make children tired. There are many things besides sleep that can help a child feel relaxed and rejuvenated. If it’s too early for bedtime, take some time to read a book with your child, listen to calm music, or do some fun stretching!

Oftentimes, you will find yourself answering ‘yes’ to at least one of these questions. It’s important to understand that it’s impossible to control every situation. Rather than identifying how you can be in more control, focus on what you can do to be more proactive in helping your child identify their needs. As a parent, following the HALT method can be helpful in handling your own emotions amidst your child’s tantrums, and to help you figure out what you need in that moment to regulate as well. Utilizing the HALT method to take care of your own needs is a great way to model self awareness.

Resources:

https://cfctb.org/news/parental-resilience-how-to-cope-with-h-a-l-t/
https://www.theartofsimple.net/applying-the-halt-method-a-checklist-for-proactive-parenting/
https://www.imom.com/why-you-need-to-teach-your-kids-to-h-a-l-t/

https://www.image.ie/editorial/this-simple-acronym-has-the-power-to-defuse-tricky-parenting-situations-432131


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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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