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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
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Teaching Basic Social Skills to Kids By Rachel Funnell, LMFT

3/18/2021

1 Comment

 
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Social Skills are an important part of life and they are critical for your children to learn. They can help your child not only be successful socially but also academically, emotionally, and personally. Children don’t readily know how to socialize, so it’s important to teach them how to socialize appropriately. If children don’t know how to socialize appropriately, it can lead to problems with job retention, relationship problems, legal problems, and lots of added stress. 

The basic social skills that kids need to be taught are following directions, using manners, working with others, taking turns, greetings, being a good sport, listening to others, understanding personal space, waiting and having patience.  Below are some ways to teach social skills to your children through different activities and in daily life. 

Following Directions:

Children that struggle with following directions tend to experience a variety of consequences including problems with school work and getting into trouble for misbehaving. To help your child learn how to follow directions it’s important for a parent to follow the following guidelines. 
  • Give a young child one direction at a time. 
    • Young children can’t remember multiple directions at once. 
  • Phrase your directions as statements not a question.
    • Questions imply that your child has an option to say no.
  • Remember that mistakes are normal. 
    • Young children do get distracted, forget or behave impulsively so view mistakes as an opportunity to help them learn. 
   
    Strategies to teach following directions:
  • Play games like Simon Says, Freeze, or Red Light, Green Light
  • Practice both verbal and visual directions
  • Teach and practice how to read directions before starting an assignment
  • Have your child highlight or underline directions on assignments before starting it

 Using Manners:

Manners help children show kindness and respect to others. It also allows others to respect the child. 


    Strategies to teach Using Manners: 
  • Post visuals of good manners, i.e.: “please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome”
  • Model for your child by using your manners with them and in front of them
  • Actually teach your child about manners and discuss what manners to use in different situations
  • Play Go Fish but before asking for a card, have your child say “please” and when they receive the card, they need to say “thank you.” When they give a card and someone says “thank you” they say “you’re welcome”.
     
Working with others:

This skill is very important for children as they are in school and with their siblings. This includes listening, collaborating, helping and doing their fair share of the work. 

    Strategies to teach working with others:
  • Actually talk to your child about what working well with others looks like
  • Create opportunities for your child to work with you or other family members
  • Build things together like legos or marble runs
 
Taking Turns:

Sharing is big when it comes to making and keeping friends. Sharing also helps children feel good about themselves. 


    Strategies to teach taking turns:
  • Practice turn-taking with board games
  • Practice turn-taking with conversations
  • Explain what it means to take turns
 
Greetings:

Learning how to greet others helps children create a positive environment. It helps them to be inclusive and will help them when they are in the workplace. 


    Strategies to teach Greetings:
  • Model greeting your child and others
  • Teach different types of greetings
  • Model greetings in play when playing with dolls or action figures or other similar toys
 
Being a Good Sport:
​

Learning to be a good sport will help your children be respectful when they engage in games and activities. It can also help them learn how to cope with losing by focusing on having fun. 


    Strategies to teach being a good sport:
  • Teach and discuss expectations for being a good sport
  • Focus on having fun, playing and learning rather than winning
  • Give reminders about being a good sport before activities start
  • Model being a good sport 
  • Practice and discuss having a growth mindset when they do lose
   
Listening to Others:

Being a good listener is critical when building positive relationships with others. It’s important for children to learn how to focus on what others are saying and not be distracted by other things. 


    Strategies to teach listening to others:
  • Provide time to share thoughts and feelings
  • Teach basic listening skills like making eye contact, putting distractions away, thinking about what someone is saying, reflecting and validating
  • Model listening skills
  • Play the game telephone

​Understanding Personal Space:

Teaching your child about personal space helps your child learn how to make everyone feel comfortable in social situations. It also helps with teaching your child about consent when entering another's personal space. 


    Strategies to teach person space:
  • Teach your child that everyone has an invisible bubble around them and explain why having personal space is important
  • Act out what personal space looks like in different scenarios
  • Teach your child how to ask for permission if they want to get closer to someone or touch someone
  • Read books about person space
  
Waiting and Having Patience:

Developing patience is a critical skill to learn. Your children will have to wait for many things at home, school or in the community. By having patience, they are showing that they are respectful to all. 


    Strategies to teach waiting and having patience:
  • Teach strategies for what to do when waiting (doing something else, using positive self-talk, playing a game)
  • Discuss times when your child may have to wait and how to handle it
  • Read books about patience
  • Model being patient

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Keeping Teens Safe and Supported: What to know about Depression By Kirsten Ellingsen, PhD

3/11/2021

2 Comments

 
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Everyone feels sad or discouraged at times. These are normal and expected emotions. Mood can be up and down throughout a day. However, when mood remains low for an extended period of time and behaviors change it could indicate something more going on.
 
Rates of depression have been higher during the COVID-19 pandemic. Fears about health, family stress, loss, disappointments due to cancellations or quarantine, less social connection and reduced physical activity can all contribute to this increase.  While increased stress, worry and feelings of disappointment and sadness might be more common during this past year for teens, it is important to understand when depression is present and when there might be risk for self-harm or suicide.
 
What is Depression?
 
Depression is a medical illness. It affects mood, thinking and behavior. Depression can interfere with an ability to function in expected daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or school. Depression involves a low mood that often includes sadness, despair, and hopelessness that lasts for week or months. Depression interferes with participation in life – it changes thoughts, outlook, and behaviors and can affect friendships, family relationships, academic performance, and health. (See also
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/teen-depression/index.shtml
 
A person with depression might show increased negative mood, highly negative and self-critical thinking, and act and move differently. Given the increased rates of stress and isolation this year and the general expected mood fluctuations and changed behaviors during adolescence, how do you know when a teen is experiencing depression?
 
Signs of Depression for Teens
 
  • Persistent feeling of deep or overwhelming sadness or hopelessness.
  • Low energy or motivation.
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements.
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Sleep changes. (Sleeping too much or difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep).
  • Loss of pleasure or interest in activities that were once enjoyed.
  • Withdrawing from friends and family. Avoiding others or spending more time alone.
  • Fixation on past failures or exaggerated self-blame or self-criticism
  • Anxiety and panic.
  • Worry and irritability. Lashing out in anger because of distress.
  • Difficulty organizing, concentrating, or remembering.
  • Less attention to personal hygiene or appearance
  • Negative thinking (Negative views of self, life and the world).
  • Feeling worthless and guilty.
  • Significant changes in appetite or weight.
  • Restlessness.
  • Angry outbursts, disruptive or risky behavior, or other acting-out behaviors
  • Poor concentration and ability to focus or pay attention in class.
  • Physical pain or headaches, stomachaches without a reason.
  • Self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
 
References:https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=understanding-teenage-depression-1-2220  https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/depression.html  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/teen-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20350985
 
What Can Parents Do?
 
Know the emotional and behavioral signs of depression. These changes are present for weeks or months.
 
Questions to Consider for a parent from Child Mind:
  • Has your teen been sad or irritable most of the day, most days in a week for at least two weeks?
  • Lost interest in things that they used to really enjoy?
  • Have very little energy, very little motivation to do much of anything?
  • Express feeling worthless, hopeless about their future, or guilty about things that aren’t their fault?
  • Academic grades dropped or finding it hard to concentrate?
 
Parenting a Depressed Teenager: https://childmind.org/article/how-to-help-your-depressed-teenager/
 
Talk with your teen. Be supportive. Ask direct questions (without getting upset or judging). Validate Feelings. Try to encourage healthy behaviors (adequate sleep, limiting social media, daily exercise and physical activity). Ask your teen to join you in an activity. Model healthy behaviors. Listen to problems without trying to fix them.
 
Questions you can ask your teen:
  • Do you constantly feel sad, anxious, or even “empty,” like you feel nothing?
  • Do you feel hopeless, empty, or like everything is going wrong?
  • Do you feel like you are worthless or helpless? Tired/drained/exhausted? Having trouble concentrating? Remembering information or making decisions?
  • Do you ever think about dying or suicide? Have you ever tried to harm yourself?
 
Do not ignore comments about death or suicide. Take any comment about suicide or self-harm seriously. 
 
From Risk factors and Warning Signs: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/how-we-can-all-prevent-suicide/  Has your teen talked about wanting to die or kill self? Talked about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live? Talked about unbearable pain or feeling trapped? Increased use of drugs or alcohol? Talked about being a burden to others? Showing rage or talked about seeking revenge? Had extreme mood swings?
 
If your teen is having thoughts of suicide get an evaluated by a mental health professional immediately. If the thoughts are really serious and there is imminent threat go to an ER.
 
Resources to Share for any Teen who might be Considering Suicide
CALL: In crisis and need help, call this toll-free number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL), available 24 hours a day, every day: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
The service is available to everyone. The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)TEXT: Use TXT 4 HELP Interactive (www.nationalsafeplace.org/txt-4-help), which allows live texting with a mental health professional.
The Crisis Text Line is another free, confidential resource available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Text “HOME” to 741741 and a trained crisis counselor will respond to you with support and information over text message. Visit www.crisistextline.org.
If you (or your teen) see messages or live streaming video of suicidal behavior on social media, call 911 immediately, contact the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).
WEBSITES: Lifeline’s website at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 (Office)
727.304.3619 (Fax)                                                                                                                                                               
4071 Bee Ridge Road, Suite 204                                                                                                              
Sarasota, FL 34233                                                                                                                                   
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