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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
941.357.4090 (Office)/ 727.304.3619 (Fax)
​Instagram: @childtherapysrq

Children and “Shot” Phobia By Tara Motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

12/31/2021

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Many children have a fear of shots.  This fear is classified as a Specific Phobia which is a mental health condition in which a child has an extreme and uncontrollable fear of something that is not actually dangerous. Simply being around or even thinking of the shot causes the child severe anxiety. These children may not be anxious about other aspects of their lives. 

How do you know if they have a specific phobia or they just “do not like needles”?  In the case of a specific phobia, the child may exhibit an extreme fear, may have panic attacks when they see or think about the shot, may throw tantrums to avoid the shot, and/or may tremble, sweat or feel dizzy in reaction to thinking about or seeing the shot. 

What is the magic pill for helping children with this phobia?  A magic pill would be nice, but specific phobias typically do not respond to medications. The most effective treatment for specific phobias is Exposure Therapy, which is a type of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In Exposure Therapy, the child is gradually exposed to the thing they are afraid of over and over until the fear has decreased. 

Can parents treat this on their own?  Parents may be able to use several strategies for decreasing the phobia, but often times parents and children end up fighting, which can increase the association of negative feelings with the feared outcome (e.g. a shot). If your child is exhibiting the symptoms of “Shot” Phobia, consult a mental health professional trained in Exposure and Response Prevention, who can guide you and your child through the treatment.

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Holiday "Present" By Kirsten Ellingsen, PhD, PMH-C

12/18/2021

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The winter holiday season. For many, this is a time of joy and connection, parties, and presents. A time to show love and gratitude. Time off school or work. Time with family.  Surprises. Personal and spiritual reflection. It is also a time of grieving and sadness for those who experienced loss of family or friends. Global pandemic concerns and social restrictions. Disappointments. Then there are those HOLIDAY EXPECTATIONS: exceeded or unmet, reasonable, or unattainable. 
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So how can we increase and enjoy the positive moments with our family, manage stress, and moderate expectations?  Below are some strategies that might help.  
 
Be deliberate in being PRESENT.
 
  • Set aside and take time to enjoy and have fun with your child or teen. Children need to feel connected. This will help buffer stress and promote a strong positive relationship. Aim for frequent warm, sensitive, responsive interactions. Aim for many more positive interactions than negative ones (which are inevitable).
 
  • Set Aside Time with Each Child Daily. Spend 5-10 minutes each day for one on one special time. Give full focus and attention to one child at a time. This is deliberate, intentional positive PLAY that is child-directed, without negative talk, criticism, correcting, questioning or direct “teaching”.
  • Spending time with teens watching shows or movies and sharing meals is great but try to add one-on-one activities that do not involve screens. Puzzles, art projects, music, taking a walk together, or cooking allows time to talk and provides an opportunity to check in with your teens. Validate feelings. Listen. Take your teens perspective
 
Manage Stress
 
  • Laughing is an excellent stress reliever. For recommendations about funny and ridiculous movies to watch with children and teens see:(https://www.commonsensemedia.org/lists/best-family-movie-laughs).
 
  • Self-Care for parents is important.  Self-care for yourself is necessary to be able to support your child’s emotional well-being. Sleep, exercise, and good nutrition, as well as limiting triggering news, caffeine, and alcohol are necessary. Taking deliberate moments to relax and be mindful are also important and help model effective coping strategies. Learn and practice relaxation techniques. Reach out for support when needed.
 
Stay in the moment
 
  • Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a relaxation strategy that can help calm. The aim is to focus on your current experience. This includes noticing emotions, thoughts, and sensations without judgment. Anxiety often involves what if? thoughts about the future. Focusing on the present moment reduces stress and stops this type of anxious thinking. It slows the mind and helps to relax. Two examples are below. More can be found at: Family Mindfulness Aid: www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/family-mindfulness-schedule.pdf. How mindfulness can help:  https://childmind.org/article/how-mindfulness-can-help-during-covid-19/
  • Sit straight. Take a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Do a simple check-in of your emotional state, any physical discomfort, and your thoughts. Focus on the feeling of your breath, Notice the sensations as you take a breath in and out.
  • Practice gratitude. Start a habit with your family to end the day (bedtime or dinner) on a good note. Have each person say something (or more) that he or she is grateful for right now.
 
  • Use Grounding techniques when emotions feel overwhelming. When children are upset, angry, or stressed you need to be calm to be able to respond compassionately and maintain connection.
  • Grounding is different than other relaxation strategies. It is a more active strategy to detach from emotional discomfort or pain (anger, anxiety, sadness), and focuses on distraction. It is helpful when distress or negative feelings are more extreme or feel overwhelming. It can also help when you or your child are feeling distressed, triggered, or you feel “numb”. It can help become centered again and calm down and reorient to be in the “here and now”.
  • Grounding does not solve the problem causing negative emotions, but it can help you regain control and prevent you from feeling worse or reacting in a way you might regret. It allows you to calm down and get through a difficult moment. It can be done anywhere and anytime. Some examples you can try with your child are below:
  • Physical grounding
  • Touch objects around you. Notice how each feels.
  • Place both feet firmly on the ground, push and feel the ground below you.
  • Run cool water over your hands. Stretch.
  • Stress Press
  • Flatten your palms and press them together, raising your arms so that your forearms are straight and parallel to the floor. Push them together. Release. Repeat.
 
  • Mental Grounding / Soothing
  • Play a “categories” game. For example, name animals alphabetically (alligator, bear, cat...) name types of cars, songs with “love” in title, name all the red things you can see, then blue.
  • Ground with 5 Senses: Name 5 things you can see. 4 Things you can feel. Name 3 things you can hear. Name 2 things you can smell. And 1 thing you can taste.
  • Come up with a coping statement that you (or your child) can repeat such as, “I can handle this”, “this feeling will pass”, “I am safe right now”.
  • Other examples can be found at: Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques.pdf

​May you experience wonderful moments of connection with your child and family. We wish all of you Happy Holidays. 

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Sarasota County Gifted Deadlines for 2022  explained by Tara Motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

12/9/2021

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TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT BODY SAFETY WITH KIDS By Kate Gibson, PsyD, ABPP

12/5/2021

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Body safety has to do with teaching children about their bodies, private sexual body parts, and healthy boundaries to prevent them from falling vulnerable to child sexual abuse. Every parent’s comfort level talking about these topics varies based on so many factors- personal experiences, culture, family values, and fears to name a few. Conversations about body safety can feel overwhelming and awkward for some parents to navigate and it can even feel taboo to be talking openly about these things, but these conversations are so important. No matter how hard it feels to talk about this it is better to push through your discomfort and have the talk anyway. Prevention is the best approach. The more kids know the better they will be able to protect themselves or other children. Starting conversations about these topics lays the foundation for your child to feel comfortable talk to you and coming to you if something happens that makes them uncomfortable. Here are some tips about having these body safety talks and some resources to help.
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-Start early. Once kids start talking, you can teach them what private parts are. Some families use their own names for body parts. We recommend using the accurate medical terms when you are teaching kids about their bodies even if you have your own terms you use within the family also.
 
-Make what IS okay clear. Explain that no one should ask to see their private parts or touch them there except for these circumstances:
  • a parent for the purposes of washing them, seeing if they are hurt or sick, or putting on medicine
  • a doctor for checking them and only with a parent or caregiver present in the room
  • a person a parent has told the child can help with washing or medicine
 
-Make what is NOT okay clear. Make it clear that outside of the above circumstances no one should be touching or inspecting their private parts. Also make it clear that no one should ask them to touch another person’s private parts.
 
-Encourage communication. Tell your kids to come talk to you right away if they ever get a touch that they feel confused about or don’t like. This could be anything, even a tickle or a hug. If a child doesn’t like it, then try to respect that. Children who are allowed to say no to any kind of touches they don’t like are more likely to say no if someone tries to cross a boundary and are more likely to tell you about it too!
 
-Practice safe and healthy touches. You can practice asking for hugs and kisses and waiting to be given permission before giving them. This shows kids that they are able to make a choice and give an answer before their body gets touched. Another way to do this is call unsafe touches red flag touches and safe touches green flag touches and practice labeling different kinds of touch as red or green (this comes from “Red Flag Green Flag People: A Personal Safety Program for Children” which is no longer in print.)   

-Stranger danger no more. When you do the safety talk make sure you do not overemphasize staying away from strangers. It is fine to teach this message, but do not stop there. Most child sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows. Tell your child that no one, even a family member, is allowed to touch their private parts.

-Teach power words and asking for help. Teach your children to say “no,” “stop it,” “help,” or “go away” loudly if someone tries to touch their private parts or touches them in a way they don’t like. Have them practice yelling it out loud.

-Sometimes telling once is not enough.  Tell your children to find a trusted grown up right away to tell about any confusing touches they receive or see. Tell your children to keep telling until someone believes them and helps them.

Helpful Resources:

Kids Books:
  • “Uncle Willy’s Tickles: A Child’s Right to Say No” by Marcie Aboff
  • “Some Parts are Not for Sharing” by Julie K. Federico
  • “The Right Touch: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse” by Sandy Kleven
 
YouTube Video:

“My Body Belongs to Me” at 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5mdt9YN6I

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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 (Office)
727.304.3619 (Fax)                                                                                                                                                               
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Sarasota, FL 34233                                                                                                                                   
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