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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
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Summer break is really over?                                            by Amanda hanson,  psy.D.

8/31/2018

2 Comments

 
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Guidelines to help navigate through schedule changes

Transitioning from summer break to a school schedule can be challenging for both parents and children. Mixed emotions related to excitement, nervousness, and adjustment can impact families in multiple ways. Managing this change can be stressful for some families and working towards making the shift takes work. However, being proactive can help mitigate these potential stressors by identifying sources of stress and actively problem-solving in advance. There are several ways parents and children can begin to prepare for the new school year and handle back to school season smoothly.

1)  Begin by talking with your child about any anxiety related to  beginning school and allow them to share their feelings in an open and safe way. Sometimes parents believe that just because the child doesn’t bring it up or mention it, it must not bother them, but this is on the contrary. Beginning the conversation with your child and opening the door to have this discussion allows children to feel that it is okay to share. So, go ahead parents, ask and inquire.
2)  Now if you are going to talk to your children about their stress or anxiety, it is also important to address your own personal feelings. If you feel anxious for your child, they are likely to feel anxious too. Identify what feelings you may have, and what feelings and experienced in previous school year transitions. Anticipate, prepare, and proactively manage your own feelings in a healthy and adaptive way.
3)  Establish a routine and structure before school starts, as the first day of school is probably not the best time to make changes to morning and bedtime routines. Start working on the routine that you are anticipating in advance. This allows the child to adjust and for you to tweak any areas that may need to be addressed, such as time management.
4)  Adjusting to a new routine and structure can be hard for some. A new school year typically means a different family schedule, as there is limited free time and more responsibility with homework. Begin to talk with your children about how some of the rules regarding privileges (i.e. electronics) may need to change due to school needs. Discussing these rule changes in advance allows children to handle the change and be prepared when it does happen.
5)  Focus on how you want to structure homework time if needed. Anticipating and identify the needs of your child after a long day of school, this can be important step in gaining compliance and cooperation. Learn and know your child. Understand if they need a snack, physical activity, or less stimulation to function at their best. Remember, coming home from an extended day at school is like returning home from a long day of work for you. Help your children identify what they need to perform at their best.
 
Now if all these suggestions seem overwhelming, there is an important point to remember. Attending school doesn’t have to always be stressful, it can be FUN. Children interact, develop social skills, and build friendships. These can be enjoyable. Spend time with your children each day, ask and learn about their school experiences, while also focusing on the positive aspects. Enjoying individual time with your children is so important, even if it is only 15 minutes a day. So, don’t let the new school year get you down, be proactive and make the transition a positive one!

​
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How do I talk with my child about THIS?                  by Dr. Kirsten M. Ellingsen, Ph.D.

8/21/2018

1 Comment

 
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General Recommendations and guidelines to help parents talk with their children about distressing events.
 
Turn on the news and you can find alarming stories at all hours of the day and night. The continual and often graphic coverage of violence, devastation from natural disasters or war, children separated from families, and even the recall of popular contaminated food can be very upsetting. As parents, managing our own reactions and emotions to these events can be quite challenging, particularly when events include children who are hurt or hurting.  When our children are watching us (which is just about always) how we handle this information can affect how they feel and how they are able to handle what they see or hear.
 
Children and adolescents may also be watching these events on the news separately or have exposure to news when it is on “in the background” at home.  Parents might not even know that their children are aware of some of these events. Last spring I had a young child spontaneously mention a school shooting in front of her mother in the clinic waiting room. Her mother was surprised that she even knew about it, but with this realization her child was able to talk about her feelings and gain support and reassurance of her safety. 
 
Considering how upsetting these events can be for adults, learning about these situations can be even more confusing and distressing for children who do not have the life experience, coping skills, or ability to understand what is happening and what it means for them.  Below are general guidelines and recommendations for how to talk with children and adolescents about these events. Ideally, have these conversations when you can give your full attention and when you are calm. References and additional resources are available at the end of the post.
 
Honest and Age Appropriate
  • Be honest, but keep your language and content age and developmentally appropriate.
  • Be prepared and know generally what you want to say but, follow your child’s lead for how much information to share and ask what they know first to address misinformation or conclusions.
  • Consider what is helpful for a child to hear. Keep it simple and straightforward. Be careful to discuss in a calm and rational way.
  • Be aware of your tone, particularly when a topic is highly emotionally charged or a personal trigger for you.
  • Allow children to express their feelings. Validate feelings and normalize emotions: Try not to dismiss or minimize concerns or the feelings expressed (e.g., ‘its OK to feel scared, mad or sad’).
  • While being careful not to minimize or dismiss feelings, it is also important to reassure your children that they are safe.
  • Consider your child’s temperament, limit repeated exposure to images or news coverage for anxious or sensitive children.
 
Awareness and Self-care
  • Pay attention to your reactions and any behavior changes for your child. While children may not understand abstract concepts, they will pick up on the emotional response of parents. It is important to be aware of how this situation is affecting you and get any support you need.
  • Watch children for signs of fear, anxiety, or confusion. Observe changes in sleep, eating, play, behavior.
  • Children will watch you— model calm and rational responses. Try to model healthy coping methods. 
  • Talk about how you are managing your feelings; this also reinforces building positive coping strategies (e.g., ‘I am sad about what is happening. When I feel this way I like to take a nice walk, to snuggle you, to listen to music’.)
  • Take care of yourself and try to get good sleep, eat healthy food, exercise, and participate in fun, relaxing, and enjoyable activities alone, as well as with your children.
 
Help Children Feel Safe and Secure
  • Keep a “big picture” perspective. The goal is to leave your child feeling safe and secure (not overwhelmed and helpless). Children need to feel safe and secure in order to be healthy and function well.
  • Limit access to news and coverage.
  • Reassure your child that you will do all you can to keep them safe. Remind them how they are loved. Model caring and compassionate responses.
  • Point out and talk about the people who are doing good and trying to help.
  • Let your child know you can talk about the topic again any time they want.
  • Depending on the age and interest of the child, help him or her get involved in positive activities to address the issue and feel part of change.
 
Age Based Considerations:
Infancy and Early childhood: Young children need to be protected from distressing news coverage. Limit television watching and emotional discussions when children are present. If a child has seen images or coverage and is concerned, provide a very simple statement with an emphasis on how they are safe and will be protected by their caregivers
Young children (ages 3-6): Again, limit exposure to news, especially pictures. Even if you think that a child is not paying attention, if they can see or hear you, they likely are. if you are upset and have a strong reaction to news (which is normal and understandable) this could be upsetting and confusing.
Middle Childhood (6-12): Provide simple information, and assure safety. Limit details so as not to overwhelm. Let children ask questions and lead conversation. You can start a discussion asking what he or she knows and feels. This also allows you to clarify any inaccurate information. Help the child put events into perspective.
Adolescents:  Provide opportunities to talk, listen, help address misinformation, and support. Introduce opportunities to talk.
 
If your child or teen is experiencing anxiety or distress that is negatively affecting daily life or functioning and you want to obtain additional support please call our office to schedule a consultation or session with one of our therapists.
 
 
References and Resources

 
Tips for talking with and helping children and youth cope after a disaster or traumatic event.: A guide for parents, caregivers, and teachers (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content/SMA12-4732/SMA12-4732.pdf
 
How to talk to children about difficult news (American Psychological Association)
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/talking-to-children.aspx
 
Supporting Vulnerable Students in Stressful Times: Tips for Parents (National Association of School Psychologists) https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources/diversity/social-justice/supporting-vulnerable-students-in-stressful-times-tips-for-parents
 
Explaining the News to Our Kids (Common Sense Media) https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/explaining-the-news-to-our-kids
 
How much news coverage is OK for children? (American Psychological Association)
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/news-coverage.aspx
 
Disrupting young lives: How detention and deportation affect US–born children of immigrants (American Psychological Association) http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/newsletter/2016/11/detention-deportation.aspx
 
Communication Tips for Parents in talking with children (General) http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/communication-parents.aspx
 
Help Kids Cope (a smartphone app to help parents talk about disasters) https://www.nctsn.org/resources/help-kids-cope


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The Benefits of Breastfeeding                                               by rachel funnell, ma, lmft

8/9/2018

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When you are expecting a new baby into your life, you begin to think about what kind of parent you’ll be and ask yourself several questions: Do I want to co-sleep with my child or have them be in their own crib? Do I want to stay at home and take care of my child or will they be going to daycare or someone’s house while I work? Eventually you will ask yourself “do I want to breastfeed or not?"  In the state of Florida, between 60-70% of women breastfeed their child.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months and then continued breastfeeding along with appropriate foods for the first year. A lot of mothers have the intention to breastfeed their child. However, breastfeeding is initially not easy and a lot of mothers will turn to formula. Up to 60% of mothers don’t breastfeed for as long as they intended.  

Why do so many mothers stop breastfeeding when they intend to do it longer? Well, as previously stated, breastfeeding initially is not easy. There are several reasons why mothers stop but the most influential factors are typically issues with lactation and latching, initial pain, concerns about infant nutrition and weight, unsupportive work policies, cultural norms or lack of family/friend support.

You may ask yourself, what are the benefits to breastfeeding? Why even do it if formula is “just as good”. Well, the benefits are not only for the infant but also the mother. Infants that are breastfeed have the reduced risks of asthma, obesity, Type 2 diabetes, ear and respiratory infections and sudden infant death syndrome. The benefits for the mother include lower risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, ovarian cancer and breast cancer. In addition to medical benefits, breastfeeding provides a very special bond between the mother and the infant. The infant will breastfeed not only for food but also for security, to feel close to the mother and to help with sleep. While an infant that is formula fed will still gain a special bond and receive security through other means, there is something more intimate about breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding also makes it easier to feed your baby anywhere. No need to worry about warming up formula or getting it ready when the baby is screaming for food. Breastfeeding is more cost effective for families. It could cost up to $100 a month for formula which adds up to $1200 a year.

Breastfeeding is not for everyone and there are many reasons why a woman shouldn’t breastfeed. However, if you are wanting to breastfeed and would like more information about it. Please visit the sites listed.
​

https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/index.htm
https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/  -Monthly support groups all over the US
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    Parent and Child Psychological Services is a private practice serving children and families in the Sarasota, Florida area. The practice is owned and operated by Dr. Gibson, a Licensed Psychologist who is Board Certified in Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology. ​

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Parent and Child Psychological Services PLLC 
info@childtherapysrq.com
941.357.4090 (Office)
727.304.3619 (Fax)                                                                                                                                                               
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