Blog Archives

Developing a support system by Rachel funnell, lmft

11/30/2018

Everyone needs a support system but sometimes it can be hard to identify those people. However, with the information provided, you’ll be able to identify your support system or gain some insight into how to create a more helpful support system.

Support systems are a network of people that provide you with practical or emotional support. They are people that help you when you are going through tough times, whether that be emotional or physical. Without healthy support systems, people often feel hopeless, helpless, lonely and overwhelmed. Research has shown that a support system helps an individual feel more confident in their abilities, increases use of healthier coping skills, decreases anxiety and depression and provides people with a longer and healthier life. So if there is so much benefit to having a support system, why do some people struggle with having one? There are several reasons but for some it’s the idea of admitting that you may need help. Some people believe that it shows weakness to ask for help but in reality it shows a lot of strength to admit that you can’t do it on your own. For others, it’s because they don’t know how to create a support system. Here are several ways in which to create a support system.

Who do you start with?
- You want to start with your family, friends and coworkers. These are the people that are already in your life and they already have an idea of what’s going on and how to help.
- However, not every family member, friend and coworker is going to be a good support system.
After looking at the people close to you, you can then begin to branch out into the community.
- There are several support groups and organizations that you can find just by doing a Google search or searching social media groups.
- Groups could be through churches, the city, the state or different agencies.
- Some groups are just people going through the same experiences as you and they formed their own group.
- Ask around. Ask your family, friends, coworkers, doctors, even children’s schools for any groups that maybe available.
- Don’t limit yourself to just groups that you are already apart of. Try out new groups and organizations to see if there’s any support with them.
Next, you need to look at what makes a healthy support system.
- A healthy support system is one that builds you up, encourages you, is positive, is there for you when you need them, and decreases your stress level. A support system doesn’t mean that everything in your life is better but it does mean that you are able to manage the stress better with the support of others.
- An unhealthy support system is one that is negative, isn’t there for you, brings on more stress, lies to you, doesn’t provide any help or drains you. These could be family, friends or coworkers. If so, those are the people you need to keep your distance from.
Lastly, the key to having a support system is to open up to them. If you don’t open up, then your stress level will continue. It’s hard to be vulnerable to others but if they have shown the characteristics of a healthy support system, then they will accept you and make you feel safe with them. Remember that a support system is vital to having a longer, happier life.

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Five Tips for Managing Stress Over the Holidays by tara motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

11/24/2018

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The most wonderful time of the year?? It’s maybe a little of that but also a lot of stress. Here are a few tips that can help you get through the holidays with more of the joy and less of the stress:

Be aware of what stresses you out. Awareness of our triggers is key to managing our emotions and behaviors.
Make a self-care plan to reduce your stress. Once you identify what stresses you out, do something you haven’t tried in past years to reduce it. Maybe it is asking family members to help out or maybe it’s giving yourself a day off.
Create a goal for yourself and your family. Really think about what is most important to you this holiday season. Is it making sure the kids get the best gifts? Is it making sure the family gets along? Is it about giving? Figure out what you can do to focus on one or two goals.
Ignore all of those picture perfect families you are seeing on the holiday cards and on social media. That’s all posed and planned and chances are they all had to deal with a two hour tantrum in order to snap that one perfect picture. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else and don’t feel like you need to have elaborate elf-on-the-shelf displays every morning to post on Facebook. Stay connected in real-life and focus on what is best for you and your family.
TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF. Be kind to yourself. That may mean throwing out a few crazy high expectations and laughing at your shortcomings. Enjoy the nice moments and let the stressful and annoying ones go.

Hopefully these tips can keep you centered throughout this stressful time of year so you can truly experience the joy with your family and loved ones.

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Is my child ready to stay home alone? by amanda hanson, psy.d.

11/16/2018

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The lives of many parents are often filled with managing work, childcare, activities, and household management. As a child begins to age, parents are eventually tasked with deciding at what point is their child old enough to stay at home alone while parents and caregivers are fulfilling other life duties and responsibilities. This decision has no clear-cut answer and is based upon numerous factors that are individualistic to the family’s presenting situations. However, there are some important points to consider when deciding as to whether to allow your child to manage themselves at home alone.
The National SAFE KIDS Campaign recommends that children are not to be left alone before the age of 12, and many will not be prepared until long after that. When considering an older sibling in caring for a younger child, experts have cautioned that older siblings are generally not ready for that responsibility of managing and supervising younger children until the age 15 or older.
If you are contemplating whether to allow your child to stay at home alone, some questions that families should explore before making an important decision may include:

Does my child feel ready to be home alone in confidence and willingness?
Does my child consistently follow the rules and guidelines of the household in order to manage the rules while being away?
Has my child been able to exercise independent judgement and appropriate problem-solving skills in the past?
Can my child handled unexpected events and stay calm to problem solve?
Have I discussed with my child different scenarios that could occur while they are home alone and explore how they would handle them?
Will my child be willing to be forthcoming in the event something occurred, and is my child generally truthful?
Can my child demonstrate and understand basic safety rules and procedures?
Will be child be able to make decisions to stay safe outside of being potentially influenced by other peers or adults?
Can my child calmly provide important information, such as the home address and phone number, in the event of an emergency?
Is my child able to physically manage safety exits, such as doors and windows?
Can my child tell time?
Have I developed a structured plan or routine with my child that clearly explains boundaries, limits, and expectations?
Is my child able to independently work on tasks, such as homework?
If there is more than one child in the home, such as siblings, can they manage to get along and solve conflicts without physically fighting or intervention from an adult?
Have I engaged in pretend situations with myself and child in the home to practice self-care skills while pretending to be “unavailable?”
Is our neighborhood safe, and are their neighbors that my child knows and I trust?

While this list is not exhaustive, it does provide some generally important questions and points to consider. Additional questions based upon your family’s needs and child’s needs should be explored.

If you decide to leave your child alone, parents and caregivers should begin with short periods of time and progressively increase time spent away, but also staying relatively close. This may include running short errands to the store, dropping off dry cleaning, or running to the post office. Assessing your child’s comfortability and ability to handle this time frame will allow parents to make adjustments accordingly.
The incorporation of safety planning is important when allowing a child to remain home alone. Such actions to take in order to increase safety are:

Posting all emergency contact numbers (I.e. doctor, hospital, fire department, police department, poison control) and a trusted friend or neighbor near the phone, or programmed in a cell phone.
Identify and show the child all fire escape plans in order to get out of the house immediately, and to vacate the home in the event that the fire alarm goes off and contact the fire department from the neighbor’s or cellphone.
Have a first-aid kit in the home, and show the child where and what is in it. Teach the child about the items and how to use them in case of an emergency.
Make sure that you are accessible. This includes having your contact number programmed into the phone, and explaining to the child where you will be, how you can be reached, and when you will return home.
Prepare a snack in advance to prevent the use of appliances being used to decrease risk of accident.
If the child arrives to an empty home, request the child contact you for a check in.
Create house rules regarding the child’s ability to:
- Leave the house
- Having friends over
- Cooking
- Answering phone or door
- Use of electronics and internet

If leaving your child alone is not appropriate for you and your family, consider alternative child care options. These may include a babysitter, after school care, or day camps. Err on the side of caution, and make an informed decision before leaving a child unattended to care for themselves.

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Signs and Screening for Autism by Kirsten M. Ellingsen, PH.D.

11/9/2018

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Autism is now one of the most commonly diagnosed developmental disabilities in early childhood. It is estimated that about 1 in 59 children in the United States has an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) (https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html). Children with an ASD have difficulty in reciprocal (back and forth) communication and social interactions, as well as problems with restricted or repetitive behaviors. Symptoms start in early childhood and can affect a child’s daily functioning and participation in play and learning activities. Early concerns for ASD may begin around 9-12 months, but more subtle signs and behaviors are more often recognized when a child is around 24 months.

A screening is the first step to help determine if an evaluation is needed. The list of signs and symptoms presented below can help flag behaviors that might be concerning and require follow-up with a physician or psychologist. A screening questionnaire can also help identify possible problematic behaviors. (A widely used autism screener, the M-CHAT, is available for free online (www.mchatscreen.com; http://www.firstsigns.org/downloads/m-chat.PDF and in an electronic format (https://www.m-chat.org/mchat.php; https://www.autismspeaks.org/).

Very early indicators or possible signs of an ASD in infancy:

No babbling or pointing by age 1
No single words by 16 months or two-word phrases by age 2
Not responding to name by 12 months of age
Not pointing at objects to show interest (e.g., pointing at an airplane flying over) by 14 months
Loss of language or social skills
Poor eye contact
Excessive lining up of toys or objects
No smiling or social responsiveness

Possible signs or indicators during toddlerhood include:

Limited interest in social and reciprocal face-to-fact interactions (unless interactions are also physical such as rocking, tickling, tossing in the air)
Seeking physical comfort from parents infrequently
Limited response to name
Fleeting eye contact or eye contact that is not consistent with social interactions
Communication that is scripted, repetitive or with unusual pitch and intonation
Limited creativity or pretend in play
Uses few or no gestures
Moving quickly between toys and objects, stereotypical play, or unusual sensory interest in exploring objects (e.g., licking toy, sniffing objects, rubbing toy on face)
Not engaging in "pretend" games/activities (e.g., pretend to "feed" a doll) by 18 months
Motor mannerisms such as hand flapping, toe walking, repeatedly opening and closing doors
Flat or inappropriate facial expressions

Later early childhood behavioral indicators include:

Avoiding eye contact and wanting to be alone
Having trouble understanding other people's feelings or talking about their own feelings
Impaired ability to make friends or develop relationships with peers
Impaired ability to initiate or sustain conversations with others
Does not share interests with others
Absence or impairment of imaginative and social play
Stereotyped, repetitive, or unusual use of language
Excessive use of repetitive words or phrases (echola Giving unrelated answers to questions
Restricted patterns of interest that are abnormal in intensity or focus
Preoccupation with certain objects or topics

· Getting upset by minor changes

Delayed speech and language skills
Inflexible adherence to specific routines or rituals

· Having obsessive interests

Does not understand jokes, sarcasm or teasing

It is important to consider that it is the combination of different behaviors that would lead to a referral for a more comprehensive evaluation to determine if a child meets criteria for an ASD diagnosis. Autism is a complex neurodevelopmental disorder that is best diagnosed by experienced professionals using standardized measures of functioning and a thorough assessment of a child’s medical and developmental history. Early identification and accurate assessment of developmental disabilities is critical so that targeted support and evidence-based interventions can be accessed to facilitate optimal development and functioning for children.

If you have concerns about your child’s behaviors or development you can contact us to schedule a consultation or talk with an early childhood psychologist or pediatrician to determine if a diagnostic evaluation is needed.

REFERENCES & RESOURCES

Ellingsen, K., Boone, D, & Chavis, L. (2016). Assessment related to developmental disabilities and psychological disorders during early childhood. In A. Garro (Ed.), Early Childhood Assessment in School and Clinical Psychology (pp. 203-231). NY: Springer Publishing. (https://www.springer.com/us/book/9781493963478)

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/index.html

Milestones Tracker: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/index.html

Autism Speaks: https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/symptoms

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How to Create Effective Behavior Charts by Rachel funnell, lmft

11/5/2018

2 Comments

Keep it simple: By keeping the behavior chart simple, you are able to set yourself up for success. You want to make it easy to maintain and easy for the children to comprehend. If it’s too complicated or takes too much effort or time to maintain then you will not stick with it.
Keep it to 3 or less behaviors: One difficult, one easy, and one that’s in the middle. Again you want to keep it simple and not be too overwhelming for you or your children to complete.
Write the behaviors in a positive manner: What do you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do. i.e.: write “Safe hands and feet” rather than “No hitting or kicking”.
Make rewards/incentives simple and not monetary or tangible items: It’s important to make the rewards/incentives that encourage positive interactions with others. For example, a reward could be they get to pick what’s made for dinner tomorrow, or they get to pick out the family movie. Asking the children what they would like to have as an incentive, helps to get them on board with the chart and creates excitement.
Once the behavior is achieved, chose a different one to work on: If you notice that your child is receiving the incentives quickly and it’s no longer a challenge for them, switch the behavior to something else that they need to work on.
Always be consistent and follow through with it: Very important to having a successful behavior chart is consistency and follow through. If you don’t follow through with the rewards or tracking, then your children will take that to mean that it’s not important.

Utilize the internet to get behavior chart templates: There are a lot of different templates online that allow you to customize it to your child’s interests.

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Photos from Marco Verch (CC BY 2.0), verchmarco, wriggly_toes, verchmarco

Developing a support system by Rachel funnell, lmft

Five Tips for Managing Stress Over the Holidays by tara motzenbecker, MS, NCSP

Is my child ready to stay home alone? by amanda hanson, psy.d.

Signs and Screening for Autism by Kirsten M. Ellingsen, PH.D.

How to Create Effective Behavior Charts by Rachel funnell, lmft

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