Have you ever set a New Year’s Resolution and failed at it? If the answer is “yes”, then let’s examine where the problem lies. First, ask yourself what the true motivation for the resolution is. Oftentimes, we set goals because we think it is what we “should” do. As any client of mine knows, “should” is a key word for falling into a thinking trap. And thinking traps are designed to make us feel like…..something that rhymes with ‘trap’…...Dig yourself out of that trap by asking yourself what truly motivates you, from within yourself and only yourself. Then, ask yourself if the goal is realistic. Is it realistic to expect yourself to go from a sedentary lifestyle to working out for an hour at 5 AM every day? Probably not, so what is realistic? It’s okay to set a goal of waking up twice a week to workout early for a few weeks and then increase it if successful.
Once you come up with intrinsically motivated goals and have decided what is realistic to expect from yourself, write it down. Write your whole plan including the short-term and the long-term aspects. Writing it out actually allows it to imprint on a different part of your brain. Write check-ins in the plan as well. It is important to periodically reassess---is this still realistic? Is this still what I truly want?
Anticipate setbacks and new opportunities. Using “if/then” thinking encourages creativity and problem solving. “If I cannot wake up early enough to exercise before work, then I will work out before bed”. Plan B and C and D are evidence of your flexibility, not your failure.
If you find yourself thinking negatively about your progress, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. You would not say to a friend, “geesh yeah you really are a lazy bum for not working out everyday”. Instead, to a friend, you would say, “yeah it’s really hard getting up that early. It’s so amazing that you’re working towards that and even trying it!”. (Hmm...talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend is, in fact, a great idea for a resolution….)
Once you come up with intrinsically motivated goals and have decided what is realistic to expect from yourself, write it down. Write your whole plan including the short-term and the long-term aspects. Writing it out actually allows it to imprint on a different part of your brain. Write check-ins in the plan as well. It is important to periodically reassess---is this still realistic? Is this still what I truly want?
Anticipate setbacks and new opportunities. Using “if/then” thinking encourages creativity and problem solving. “If I cannot wake up early enough to exercise before work, then I will work out before bed”. Plan B and C and D are evidence of your flexibility, not your failure.
If you find yourself thinking negatively about your progress, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. You would not say to a friend, “geesh yeah you really are a lazy bum for not working out everyday”. Instead, to a friend, you would say, “yeah it’s really hard getting up that early. It’s so amazing that you’re working towards that and even trying it!”. (Hmm...talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend is, in fact, a great idea for a resolution….)
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