Although the holiday season can be a time of year filled with lots of fun and excitement, it can also be a time of year filled with stress and business. Between holiday gatherings, school functions and performances, winter break, and other various activities, this can create a unique set of challenges that can leave parents feeling overwhelmed. Changes in routine during the holidays can also be difficult for children. Some children might even struggle with time away from school and becoming bored at home. Thus, it’s no surprise that both parents and children can find themselves in both exciting and yet challenging times around the holidays. Oftentimes for children, this might result in an increase in problematic behaviors. Although we might not be able to prevent all of these behaviors altogether, there may be ways to help parents feel more confident in managing these behaviors through the holiday season.
So what can we do to try to make this time of year as manageable as possible with children? I’m glad you asked! Below are some helpful tips and ideas of ways to navigate this holiday season with your little ones. While every strategy might not work for every family, I encourage you to consider which of these may work well in your current family unit and daily routine.
Manage Your Expectations. Recognize that this can be a challenging time of year for children and their behaviors. Thus, maybe little Johnny finds himself getting into a few more arguments with his sister Susie than normal. That’s okay. That’s where our next tip, staying calm, can come in handy. Lean on all the parenting skills you already know and stay firm with those techniques. And just remember that your child isn’t purposely acting out, but maybe they too feel some of the stress or excitement of the holiday season that even us adults feel. We don’t expect your children to be on their best behavior this time of year. Sometimes just setting your expectations accordingly can do a great deal for helping you manage your own well-being.
Stay Calm. When your child does start to misbehave, remind yourself that it’s okay. Take a few deep breaths and use your own coping skills. Then approach the situation in as calm a way as possible with a neutral tone. By keeping your own composure, you can model that appropriate behavior to your child and possibly help them regulate some! By validating their emotions their behaviors are likely expressing, you may be able to help to de-escalate the situation and model emotion naming skills (e.g., “I know you’re upset because you want to go home and play with your new toys you just got, and it’s hard being patient, but we’ll be home later today and you’ll have lots of time with your new toys”).
Keep to a Routine as Much as Possible. Even though your routine this time of year might look different, especially if you have children home for school for winter break, keeping as much of a routine as possible may be beneficial. If you can stick to some small routines (e.g., bedtime and nighttime routines, wake up time, meal times, etc.), this provides some consistency for children to lean on. You could even involve your children in creating these routines to help them feel like more active participants in the creation of these routines, which can then help with active engagement! Adding breaks and fun activities into routines also gives children something to look forward to and hopefully promotes positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.
Offer Choices. When possible, consider offering your child choices in what activities you do. Maybe they can’t determine whether or not they go to some specific events, but maybe they can help to pick out which holiday movie you watch one evening. If you’re out running errands together, maybe they can even help by selecting which store you go to first. Just remember that whenever you offer a child choices, you have to be okay with whatever option they select. These options may help them to feel more involved and more control, and ultimately may be helpful in reducing the number of problematic behaviors.
Provide Rewards. Like we’ve said multiple times now, behaving during the holiday season may be difficult for children. So when they are behaving, give them lots of reinforcement for those behaviors! Praise them for being helpful, flexible, patient, and all the things you want to see from them during this time of year. Praising these behaviors can help to increase these behaviors in the future. Additionally, setting up reward systems can be a great preventative tool to help set children up for success. These reward systems can motivate children to engage in more positive behaviors from the beginning, which should help to decrease problematic behaviors before they even occur.
Prepare for the Transition Back to School. After a long winter break, after the excitement of the holidays has slowed, the transition back to school can be a particularly tough one. However, a little preparation work can go a long way. Begin preparing your child for transitioning back to school a few days in advance by talking to them about going back to school. Promote coping skills if your child has any emotional reactions to this idea, and use your own coping skills for yourself as well! Planning some fun activities during the first week back may function as extra motivators for the child. Perhaps you pack them their favorite lunch or prepare their favorite dinner meals that week, or maybe you have a special activity planned for that weekend following their first week of school. These can all be great ways to motivate your child and help to give them something fun to look forward to.
Have Fun! Finally, have fun with your children during this time of year. Get creative and enjoy the extra time you might have with your children! Perhaps this includes extra holiday themed activities together, making delicious snacks together, baking sweet treats, or sharing in some of your favorite holiday traditions. Or maybe it means doing other fun things and starting new traditions. Whatever the activity is, genuine quality time together between parents and children can be an excellent way to further connect and build memories together. These positive experiences can then help to motivate children to want to behave for their parents in the first place.
Although navigating the holidays with children can be stressful, it can also be extremely rewarding. By using some of these ideas discussed, hopefully you can have a fun filled holiday season with minimal challenging behaviors!
So what can we do to try to make this time of year as manageable as possible with children? I’m glad you asked! Below are some helpful tips and ideas of ways to navigate this holiday season with your little ones. While every strategy might not work for every family, I encourage you to consider which of these may work well in your current family unit and daily routine.
Manage Your Expectations. Recognize that this can be a challenging time of year for children and their behaviors. Thus, maybe little Johnny finds himself getting into a few more arguments with his sister Susie than normal. That’s okay. That’s where our next tip, staying calm, can come in handy. Lean on all the parenting skills you already know and stay firm with those techniques. And just remember that your child isn’t purposely acting out, but maybe they too feel some of the stress or excitement of the holiday season that even us adults feel. We don’t expect your children to be on their best behavior this time of year. Sometimes just setting your expectations accordingly can do a great deal for helping you manage your own well-being.
Stay Calm. When your child does start to misbehave, remind yourself that it’s okay. Take a few deep breaths and use your own coping skills. Then approach the situation in as calm a way as possible with a neutral tone. By keeping your own composure, you can model that appropriate behavior to your child and possibly help them regulate some! By validating their emotions their behaviors are likely expressing, you may be able to help to de-escalate the situation and model emotion naming skills (e.g., “I know you’re upset because you want to go home and play with your new toys you just got, and it’s hard being patient, but we’ll be home later today and you’ll have lots of time with your new toys”).
Keep to a Routine as Much as Possible. Even though your routine this time of year might look different, especially if you have children home for school for winter break, keeping as much of a routine as possible may be beneficial. If you can stick to some small routines (e.g., bedtime and nighttime routines, wake up time, meal times, etc.), this provides some consistency for children to lean on. You could even involve your children in creating these routines to help them feel like more active participants in the creation of these routines, which can then help with active engagement! Adding breaks and fun activities into routines also gives children something to look forward to and hopefully promotes positive behaviors rather than negative behaviors.
Offer Choices. When possible, consider offering your child choices in what activities you do. Maybe they can’t determine whether or not they go to some specific events, but maybe they can help to pick out which holiday movie you watch one evening. If you’re out running errands together, maybe they can even help by selecting which store you go to first. Just remember that whenever you offer a child choices, you have to be okay with whatever option they select. These options may help them to feel more involved and more control, and ultimately may be helpful in reducing the number of problematic behaviors.
Provide Rewards. Like we’ve said multiple times now, behaving during the holiday season may be difficult for children. So when they are behaving, give them lots of reinforcement for those behaviors! Praise them for being helpful, flexible, patient, and all the things you want to see from them during this time of year. Praising these behaviors can help to increase these behaviors in the future. Additionally, setting up reward systems can be a great preventative tool to help set children up for success. These reward systems can motivate children to engage in more positive behaviors from the beginning, which should help to decrease problematic behaviors before they even occur.
Prepare for the Transition Back to School. After a long winter break, after the excitement of the holidays has slowed, the transition back to school can be a particularly tough one. However, a little preparation work can go a long way. Begin preparing your child for transitioning back to school a few days in advance by talking to them about going back to school. Promote coping skills if your child has any emotional reactions to this idea, and use your own coping skills for yourself as well! Planning some fun activities during the first week back may function as extra motivators for the child. Perhaps you pack them their favorite lunch or prepare their favorite dinner meals that week, or maybe you have a special activity planned for that weekend following their first week of school. These can all be great ways to motivate your child and help to give them something fun to look forward to.
Have Fun! Finally, have fun with your children during this time of year. Get creative and enjoy the extra time you might have with your children! Perhaps this includes extra holiday themed activities together, making delicious snacks together, baking sweet treats, or sharing in some of your favorite holiday traditions. Or maybe it means doing other fun things and starting new traditions. Whatever the activity is, genuine quality time together between parents and children can be an excellent way to further connect and build memories together. These positive experiences can then help to motivate children to want to behave for their parents in the first place.
Although navigating the holidays with children can be stressful, it can also be extremely rewarding. By using some of these ideas discussed, hopefully you can have a fun filled holiday season with minimal challenging behaviors!
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